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Thread: Am I really THAT bad of a person?

  1. #1

    Am I really THAT bad of a person?

    I had a backache this morning and thought I'd stop by CVS to get something for it. It's not like CVS is on the cutting edge of being a low price leader, but I didn't have the time to drive to wally world and CVS is a block away. No big deal, pay the extra. They ring it up, and before I can slide my debit card in, the screen is asking me if I will donate $1 to something. I didn't even look, I just said yes and moved on.

    Am I a bad person because I HATE when people do that stuff. There's a place I swing through the drive thru on almost a daily basis to get a drink. Just over a buck. Several times a year, they change the recording to say "Welcome to blah blah blah would you like to donate $1 to the Special Olympics today?".

    What are you supposed to say? No? I'm a miserable, greedy person that wouldn't like to help kids with special needs? Look, I'm just spending $1.05. Now my $1.05 drink costs me $2.05. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm all fine with giving. I do give, and I'm happy to do so, but when I roll up here tomorrow morning and you ask me for another $1, fine.....then I come back and eat lunch here. You get me again. Next thing you know, you've GUILTED me into donating $20 to your cause.

    Torques me off.

    As I said, I'm more than happy to give, but the way they are setting these systems up now, it's not a passive campaign, it's making you feel guilty or look like a miserable person if you don't give.

    Anyone else have the same thing happen? Or am I really just that bad of a person? (wait.....don't answer that)
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    Real name Steve but that name was taken on the forum. Used Middle name. Call me Steve or Scott, doesn't matter.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mansfield MA
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    1,372
    nope. Just say "not today", or "I've already given" (if you have). no harm, no foul.
    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger....then it hit me.

  3. #3
    Nope. Saying 'no' once in a while is OK. I do when I don't know where the money's going, the charity's overhead, etc.

    The pink ribbon is an exception. I don't mind this one at the register.

    I give at church and locally such as Cub Scouts, H.S. programs, local homeless, etc.
    .
    "I love the smell of sawdust in the morning".
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  4. #4
    I'm a teacher and I get asked for money for something every day at work. Parents selling candy for band or college funds or toy drives or something. I made a choice 5 or 6 years ago to never give money while at work. I make a simple joke of it and say "I'm here to make money, not to give it. I might as well stay home if I am going to do that." But, it is only half joking. I think all donations should be anonymous, and if the asker cannot find a way to make giving anonymous, then don't do it.
    Put a flyer in my mailbox or put a poster in the hallway. If it is something I want to give to, I will find you.
    Once, a security guard at the school was selling raffle tickets for her family reunion. I found out later that she didn't have a reunion, and was scamming. Another security guard asked 30 or more teachers to borrow 20.00 to buy some medication he had to have but was short today. He must have collected 400.00 or more, and we found out later in the week that it was his last day.
    I also found out that the United Negro College Fund, which is the predominant fund I get asked to donate to, only gives a small percentage of the collected money towards college for the students they are representing.
    I'd rather just give a blanket and a sandwich to someone who is cold and hungry.
    Last edited by Chris S Anderson; 12-09-2009 at 6:23 PM.

  5. #5
    I don't feel guilty one tiny little bit. I give what I give....how much I want and to who I want. I learned early on to thoroughly research any organization I donate to. I was absolutely appalled when I learned where some of my money was going. Except for one organization, that I usually empty my pockets to any time I see them ringing their bell, I won't donate a dime to anyone, anywhere unless I know exactly where that money's going. Fool me once...well, you get the drift.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Harvey, Michigan
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    20,801
    I agree with John! Seems everyone has perfected their method of guilting you into donating to their cause. I may come across as cold-hearted to some but I will not donate unless I know what the money is going to be used for. The only organization that I consistently donate to without any hesitation is the Salvation Army. That organization came through for my family once - when no one else was there - and I will never forget and will always contribute as I know they are truly there to help.
    Steve

    “You never know what you got til it's gone!”
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Thomasville, Georgia
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    1,146
    It's simple. Just say, "No".

    We give to worthy causes and work when called on to help. We have no issue clicking or saying "No".

    Of course, now I have a different line I use on the telemarketers who always wait until Holiday time to call. I simply tell them I'm on Social Security and now the government is talking about taking away some of my Medicare benefits! It works!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Bill Arnold
    NRA Life Member
    Member of Mensa
    Live every day like it's your last, but don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Mitchell Andrus View Post
    The pink ribbon is an exception. I don't mind this one at the register.
    Ahhhh...that was one of them about 3 months ago. It was worded like this through the recorded message in the drive thru :

    "Would you like to donate $1 to help fight breast cancer?".

    GUILT GUILT GUILT! Shame on them.

    "Ummmm, no, I'd like to see more people get cancer?" would be the opposing view? What a stupid question. I doubt there is a person on the planet that wouldn't like to fight cancer until it's all gone. By the way they word it, they make you feel guilty.
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    Real name Steve but that name was taken on the forum. Used Middle name. Call me Steve or Scott, doesn't matter.

  9. #9
    Most of the time, I just say "No". And I resent being solicited in a business like that - I went there to buy something, not to get solicited.

    And if too many people give, they'll always be some solicitation whenever you go there. If you want it to stop, say "No".

    Mike
    Go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    998
    I'm with Mike -- just say no. And when you want to donate to a charity don't respond to the direct mail solicitation that comes with your junk mail or to a phone solicitation -- these are run by for profit fundraising companies who take a large commission off the top. Contact the charity yourself and find out how to cut out the middle man.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Richmond, VA
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    664
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Henderson View Post
    Most of the time, I just say "No". And I resent being solicited in a business like that - I went there to buy something, not to get solicited.

    And if too many people give, they'll always be some solicitation whenever you go there. If you want it to stop, say "No".

    Mike
    I believe that Mike is loquaciously stating my opinion, also....

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Monroe, MI
    Posts
    11,896
    My policy is virtually never because who knows where that money is really going and how much is actually going to the charity. And any charity that calls me at home unsolicited--never again--just like any business that calls me. The one exception is the Red Cross calling to set up a blood donation appointment if they haven't heard from me.


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Toronto Ontario
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    11,247
    I never donate to charities that spend less than 75% on actual charitable work.

    I have to admit that this keeps the list of acceptable charities low, however being treasurer of a charity that spends less than 10% on administration, I have a right to be picky.

    Regards, Rod.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Newport News, VA
    Posts
    852
    There are certain organizations that I will donate money to. The Salvation Army tops that list. I associate their bell ringers with Christmas, and honestly, I think the bell ringers are the epitome of the Christmas spirit.

    I don't mind being asked for money, but as a consequence, I don't feel guilty about saying no. And when they ask "Do I want to give a dollar to support such and such," that doesn't bother me. It is when I politely decline and the solicitor keeps it up and implies that I am (a) in favor of cancer or (b) ungrateful for what they do or (c) I am simply a bad person -- then I get annoyed. I give what and when I can.

    Cheers,

    Chris
    If you only took one trip to the hardware store, you didn't do it right.

  15. #15
    I have a list of causes and organizations to which I donate. I absolutely refuse to donate to any telemarketer of any type since most are pro fund raisers and the charity gets only a small percentage of the amount collected. Many others are just outright scams with a thin veneer of legality covering them. I politely state that I don't respond to telemarketing requests and then hang up. I will give to the Salvation Army wherever they set up since they are one of the most effective charitable users of funds that exist, but other solicitations at cash registers, outside the doors of retail stores, and other venues get nothing. I don't have the time to vet them instantaneously on the spot and many are for causes which I don't want to support. I do not feel the slightest bit guilty when I say no. I have after all, the right of choice.
    Dave Anderson

    Chester, NH

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