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Thread: The Letter

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Middlefield
    Posts
    8,836

    The Letter

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
    With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

    Dear Dad:
    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
    Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
    We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
    Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
    Love,
    Your Son John

    PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
    I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home...
    ~john
    "There's nothing wrong with Quiet" ` Jeremiah Johnson

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Mid Michigan
    Posts
    3,559
    A great one!! I had read it before but like to be reminded of the letter once in a while. Thanks.
    David B

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Fort Smith, Arkansas
    Posts
    1,985
    then
    My three favorite things are the Oxford comma, irony and missed opportunities

    The problem with humanity is: we have paleolithic emotions; medieval institutions; and God-like technology. Edward O. Wilson

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    1,417
    LOL... good one. I'm going to try using a variation of that at work next time it hits the fan...
    Thread on "How do I pickup/move XXX Saw?" http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?p=597898

    Compilation of "Which Band Saw to buy?" threads http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthre...028#post692028

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Enid, Oklahoma
    Posts
    6,741
    That's too funny.

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