My baby sister....

[Ken Fitzgerald]

sent this to me.

I am the oldest of 6 kids.

My baby sister sent this to me. What is she trying to tell me? Is there a message in this?


FOR A GOOD LAUGH......This is for the over 50 generation:

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it,
and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating". You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

[Rod Sheridan]

Now that was funny Ken!

I needed a laugh this afternoon..................Rod.

[Jim Rimmer]

That was great. Thanks.

[Belinda Barfield]

Thank you Ken! I needed a good laugh and that was just the ticket. I can't wait to go to the grocery store tomorrow and tell them that I'm bisacksual.

[Mike Cruz]

Careful who you say the bisacksual thing to...if she is young, you could get a security guard on you...if it is a HE, you might get more than a chuckle out of it.

In my younger days (when I wouldn't be considered a dirty old man) I asked the young girl behind the register at McD's if she knew what the paper wrapper around the ice cream cone was called. When she replied no, I educated her that it is called a cone-dom.

EDIT: Oops, sorry, I should have paid attention to who wrote that! Belinda, just reverse the hes and shes...

EDIT ON THE EDIT: Now that I just reread what I wrote, maybe the way I wrote it was appropriate!

[Phyllis Meyer]

This was Awesome!

Phyllis

[Lee Schierer]

When I go shopping and pick up OJ or milk they ask me at check out if I want my milk in a bag. I say no keep it in the plastic jug. I usually get a blank stare in return and a jab in the ribs from my wife if she's along.

[Bryan Morgan]

That was pretty funny!

I'm in my 30's and some of that holds true even for me (irony being that I work with computers and network engineering as my day job!). I got a new cellphone and when I was at Rockler ordering something they needed my phone number and it took me a few minutes fumbling with the thing to get my own number out of it. I can build you an enterprise class rack of servers with all kinds of bells and whistles and network your company around the world but just don't get all this twitfacespace.whatever stuff the next generation is doing. In a way it makes me sad because I understand and implement all this fancy technology underneath these fads and spend hours upon hours tuning and crafting networks and then get to step back and look at what I've done and say "they are using my creation for THIS?!?!"

[Belinda Barfield]

I can build you an enterprise class rack of servers with all kinds of bells and whistles and network your company around the world but just don't get all this twitfacespace.whatever stuff the next generation is doing.

Bryan, I broke down and finally joined Facebook after my family hounded me to do so for months. Apparently that is the only way some of them communicate and I found out I had been missing Cousin Cruises and fun stuff like that. I still don't see why it is such a big deal but I'm in the loop now, so to speak.