I think I'm going to give up and make a sled that fits in both miter slots. It will be big and awkward, but it ought to get the job done. Either that, or I'll tape the slabs to MDF. That's a much better idea than anything I came up with. I keep forgetting double-sided tape exists.
The sandpaper idea sounds interesting, but my wild guess is that I would have to attach it with double-sided tape, and the tape would have so much give, it would mess up the whole effort. Am I wrong? That's how I picture it in my head.
Someone was telling me to get a drum sander. I'll bet this job would be perfect for that machine. Is it possible to do this kind of work on those cheap disk sanders that have belts and little tables?
I fiddled around with my plane on some scrap tonight, and I used it to take the major peaks off the back side of the walnut. My hat is off to anyone who can do quality work with one of those things.
I long for the day I can chuck stuff like this on the jointer.
Cry "Havoc," and let slip the dogs of bench.
I was socially distant before it was cool.
A little authority corrupts a lot.