Engagement rings, do you care about the size?

[Barry Nelson]

Dont forget the other one for your nose!
38 years married ,you only get 10 for homicide!!

[Randy Moore]

If you have the least little doubt in your body, don't do it.


First 2 marriages there was a little voice in me telling me RUN. I am on 3rd marriage now. She's a keeper

[sunny nic]

I proposed with flowers. We went out the next day to get the ring.

Congrats for u.

[David Weaver]

When you go larger, if you are going to spend much more money, I would start with what you want to spend, then spec the diamond and then work backwards into the diamond size. If what you have for money to spend doesn't get you a large enough diamond, then after that you can go back through the specs and see what you want to compromise on to get to a larger size for the same money.

Who knows what she's thinking when she wants a larger diamond, I've heard the same thing a bunch of times - one of the people who wanted bigger was my sister, and she's still married (has been for about 10 years) and has a great family.

What really matters is whether or not you two want to be together. You can get over this little bump, no problem. you never know what she's hearing from her friends, or what would influence her to not just take the ring and keep her dissatisfaction quiet.

I didn't get any grief from my wife, but I did what i mentioned above in terms of spec of a diamond and then backing into size. I wasted a lot of money, is how I would put it - the engagement ring process is sort of like being forced to buy the expensive candy at the theater your first few dates (except much larger on the magnitude scale) - you know economically it's really stupid, but if you try to think your way around it with a creative excuse and without being called off first by the lady in question, you come out looking like a lunkhead. There's nothing particularly rare about diamonds except for the extremely high quality ones(types most people never see in person, like large flawless (FL) stones that are pretty much perfect across the board on a grade sheet). The rest are basically commodity stones with pretty much one market player controlling the supply to make them appear much (much much much) more valuable and rare than they are.

One other little nugget, the whole diamond engagement ring craze has nothing to do with tradition among "common people". It's something that was drummed up by diamond companies (well, debeers in particular) who were trying to figure out how to dump more diamonds (if i recall) sometime in the 1920s or 1930s or something. It's too bad we see it as being important, because it's a marketing manufactured "need".

Just do what you need to do (looks like that's what you're doing) and take it, i guess.

[Dan Hintz]

This is all irrelevant as the OP has already decided to go with a bigger stone, but...

Is it a financial burden to purchase a stone of the size she desires? If it is, tell her so... if she still insists on you getting it for her, that is a major sign that down the road she won't care how much a decision affects you, it only matters how it affects her. You never want to be with someone like that, no matter how cute the puppy dog eyes are...

[Derek Gilmer]

This is all irrelevant as the OP has already decided to go with a bigger stone, but...

Is it a financial burden to purchase a stone of the size she desires? If it is, tell her so... if she still insists on you getting it for her, that is a major sign that down the road she won't care how much a decision affects you, it only matters how it affects her. You never want to be with someone like that, no matter how cute the puppy dog eyes are...

I 100% agree that if you all can't afford a big stone with out going into debt and she refuses to understand that you do have a problem. I've got two good friends who just sold their house to move back in with mom and dad at the age of 33 with a 2 year old son. All because they couldn't say not to living beyond their means.

[Pat Germain]

Since I didn't see anyone mention it, I wanted to point out very nice diamond rings can be found at Costco for very reasonable prices. No, it won't have the pretty, blue Tiffany & Company box. But Good Morning America bought diamond engagement rings at Costco and Tifanny a few years ago and gave them to an expert for appraisal. Both rings were of very good equaly quality. But the Costco ring was purchased at a small fraction of the Tiffany price.

FYI, if you buy at Tiffany, you can always trade in the ring and Tiffany will apply the full purchase price to a higher end example. And then the lady can tell her friends she got her ring from Tiffany & Company.

[Lee Schierer]

There used to be a rule of thumb that the engagement ring should cost about 2 months salary. This was not a hard & fast rule but was the belief of many people. In the end you have to buy a ring that you can afford. If you make $100K per year then you could probably afford a more expensive ring than if you make $20K per year. What should matter to both of you is what the ring symbolizes for the two of you, your love and devotion to each other. If the ring isn't big enough, then you should talk about the level of devotion each of you feel. You'll be just as engaged with a $1700 ring as you will be with a $16,000 ring. No more no less. If she or you are unhappy with that then I suggest a longer engagement before the wedding to make sure you both are on the same page with regard to material things. Money decisions only get harder from here.

My wife and I just celebrated our 40th and her engagement ring is only 1/4 carat and she won't upgrade it for anything. She did get a five diamond band for our 25th though.

[Dan Hintz]

Yeah, I have to question any "investigative" story that makes the following highly-scientific (and blatantly wrong) statement:

Because diamonds are the best heat conductors in the world

Guess ABC correspondent Elisabeth Leamy has never heard of metals...

[David Peterson MN]

I bought my wifes engagement ring at a pawn shop. I was able to get a nicer ring because of this. She didn't care I bought it from there.

[Jason Roehl]

I'm in the "get what you can afford" camp, and then, as your marriage and income progresses, mark the milestones with something like Lee described--additional bands with diamonds. I think it would be silly to spend way too much on a ring that puts you in dire financial straits, only to later have to temptation to pawn it because you need the money. Rather, 20 years down the road, you can look a the (smaller) ring and remember where you came from and what you've been through together.

The wedding is a similar story--a wedding does not a marriage make. Too many want the wedding to be the climax of their lives, when it's really just the first step up the mountain.

15 years and counting here...

[Mac McQuinn]

Personally I really dislike Diamonds/Stones altogether and would never marry someone based on a material item. I feel a marriage should be started w/ two identical gold bands, no stones whatsoever and only if you can afford it. The bands would be smooth and plane, purposely this way to signify only their love for each other. The rings would only signify a marriage to anyone else, not a indication of wealth.

Good luck,

Mac

[Orion Henderson]

Yeah, size matters, even if your love isn't materialistic. My wife is not materialistic, and she would have married me no matter what I proposed with. But I felt that I had to get around 1 karat with the best color and clarity I could find-maybe more for social pressures than any other reason.

I did a lot of research on diamonds first and went with Blue Nile. There you can filter the stone based on the categories to get what you want and what you want to spend. Then you can pick the band. Worked for me, got me more ring for the money. I did not, and would not, go into debt for a ring.

If I could do it over, and I wouldn't, I would NOT buy any diamond. The diamond trade is just so incredibly corrupt. But that's just me. I would get a fantastically beautiful band and some other kind of stone.

[Darius Ferlas]

If that were the number of sheep her family demanded for her I'd kinda understand, but you could probably bargain. I think 50 sheep for a decent looking gal would be a fair price. After all we all want the best bang for the buck (no pun intended). Alternatively oxen could be considered. 10 sheep for one ox, 20 for the aforementioned bison.

But the requirement coming from the finance to be would be a little worrisome to me.

Have you considered a prenup?

[Belinda Barfield]

If that were the number of sheep her family demanded for her I'd kinda understand, but you could probably bargain. I think 50 sheep for a decent looking gal would be a fair price. After all we all want the best bang for the buck (no pun intended). Alternatively oxen could be considered. 10 sheep for one ox, 20 for the aforementioned bison.

But the requirement coming from the finance to be would be a little worrisome to me.

Have you considered a prenup?

Thank you, sir, for the best laugh I have had all day. How many sheep is she worth if she cooks and cleans?