I wonder what their thought on a ground going back to the main is. And how would you have problems with voltage spikes and weird things happening? Youre establishing the same thing by pounding rods out there. The neutral is going to carry any of the unbalance current back.
"....like all the voltage jumping over to one bush bar so that you have nothing on one side, and 220 on the other in the subpanel."
Are you talking about the voltage on each phase? Because there will always be 120v give or take present on each phase. Correct me if I'm wrong.