Silly questions about Canada

[Frank Pellow]

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics
these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website site(frightening, isn't it!)

The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to Contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by Spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated
while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[David Wilson]

Frank
Thanks for answering some of the questions I've been pondering for years.

[Frank Pellow]

Frank
Thanks for answering some of the questions I've been pondering for years.

Hey, I wish it were the case, but the answers were not provided by me.

[Tyler Howell]

Finally we got that settled
Good laugh Frank.
Thanks for sharieng

[markgoodall]

I grew up in Montreal and spent a couple of summers at a camp on the border between Quebec and Vermont. We saw people crossing in July headed North with downhill skis on the roofrack. That's no joke

[Glenn Clabo]

As one who married into a Canadian family...I continue to be amazed at how little we 'Mericans know about Canada...and how much Canadians know about the USA. When we go out with friends down here...it's embarrassing.

[Chuck Wintle]

As one who married into a Canadian family...I continue to be amazed at how little we 'Mericans know about Canada...and how much Canadians know about the USA. When we go out with friends down here...it's embarrassing.

We are snow bound 8 months of the year so there is not a l ot to know.

[Ian Barley]

Excellent Frank - best laugh I've had since the last time I went to a Vienna Boys choir concert.

[Michael Gibbons]

Seriously Frank, Canada brews the best beer and whiskey. And everyone is so friendly .

[Chris Padilla]

Ha, ha, Ian!

Actually, my wife and I will be vacationing in Canada in September for 2-3 weeks. We'll bust up the Pacific Coast, visit some friends in Seattle (maybe go visit Mr. Smalser if I can convince the wife!), head over to Vancouver and mess around there, cruise up Vancouver Island, visit Victoria, ferry over...mess around BC...Alberta (visit Calgary just because)...then enter Glacier National Park from the North into Montana. After that, we aren't sure where we'll go...maybe bust down to Colorado and say hi to the folks.

[Michael Perata]

Vancouver is my second most favorite city.

Those questions are funny, but not all that unusal. I remember when the Olympics were held in LA, a caller from New Mexico wanted to buy tickets to the events. The ticket salesperson, in Los Angeles, told the caller he would have to contact his consulate for tickets. the caller replied, "I am from New Mexico!" The ticket agent said, "I don't care if you are from New Mexico, or Old Mexico, you need to contact your consulate for tickets."

Sigh! How many of our teenagers can't even find the U.S., let alone New Mexico, on a map/globe?

[Donnie Raines]

As one who married into a Canadian family...I continue to be amazed at how little we 'Mericans know about Canada...and how much Canadians know about the USA. When we go out with friends down here...it's embarrassing.

I suspect that may be more isolated then you may think. I have several former Canadian's as clients who know very little about our history and how we truley operate as a whole. Yet I have several WW2 vets that know a tremdous amount about many thinsg Canadian. Frankly, I don't no very much about Canada as a whole, but, those that I have met from up north have been wonderful people.

I suspect that these questions were anything but serious in nature(...I hope)

[Doug Shepard]

Canada eh? Isn't that the suburb of Detroit where they brew all that great Labbatts?

[Bob Nieman]

New Mexico magazine has a recurring article on the last page called "One of Our 50 is Missing" regarding geographical confusion about the Land of Enchantment. They even published some in a book. I haven't personally had a problem with it, but a coworker's family grilled her on her first trip back home after moving here. they wanted to know about visa requirements, speaking the language, etc.

[Chuck Wintle]

Canada eh? Isn't that the suburb of Detroit where they brew all that great Labbatts?

Canadians are more like Americans than we like to admit. Our TV, radio, press and just about everything else is dominated by Americans so you influence us a lot.