Adult Children paying board?

[dennis thompson]

My adult daughter has moved back in with us. I am trying to decide if I should charge her board( we don't need the money but I think everyone who is able , should contribute) .
What do you do? What do you Think?
if yes , what percent of her income do you suggest we charge?
thanks

[Jay Jolliffe]

For me it would depend on the circumstances of why she moved back. As far as rent what ever the market in your area is. If you need the cash keep it if not start an account for her to save the money.....

[Dan Hintz]

It should not be a percentage of her income, it should be as if she's any other person renting a room... though allowances could certainly be made for (possibly deep) discounts since she is a family member. Are you paying for her groceries? If so, rent should be higher. Are you paying for utilities (water, electricity, etc.)? If so, rent should be higher.

What the reason she's moving back in? If it can be attributed to laziness (couldn't show up to work on time and got fired, etc.), full rent would be charged. If it can be attributed to falling on hard times not of her own doing (layoffs, divorce, etc.), reduced or no rent would be charged. If it's just to save money for a house of her own, I might reduce the rent a little but not much... that's why you move into cheap apartments and save money, so moving into mom and dad's shouldn't be a substitute for hard planning/saving.

Either way, plan on a move-out date, else you may have gained an adult child for another 10 years (or more).

[Rod Sheridan]

My adult daughter has moved back in with us. I am trying to decide if I should charge her board( we don't need the money but I think everyone who is able , should contribute) .
What do you do? What do you Think?
if yes , what percent of her income do you suggest we charge?
thanks

Hi, we did that, gave it back when she left............Rod.

[Prashun Patel]

I wouldn't charge her board. I'd make her do some chores like grocery shopping or laundry or cleaning. That might be a real win-win for both of you - even if (scratch that, ESPECIALLY if) it's a lot of work for her.

[David Masters]

I like Ron's idea. Depending on the situation that requires her moving back and her income, I would set the monthly rent, but put it aside in an account, and give it back to help her when she is ready to transition back to independence.

[ryan paulsen]

My (now) wife and I moved into my parent's basement for a period of 6 months while we were saving for a house. We did not pay rent. We did have our own refrigerator in the basement, and bought our own groceries. We also contributed to chores and other projects around the house, in addition to cleaning the basement before moving in. The goal was solely to save money, and our term of 6 months was set before we moved in. It helped us greatly to save for a down payment for our house, so it could be very helpful if your child is responsible and not "lazy" like mentioned above. We also bought my parents a sweet grill when we moved out as a thank you gift.

[Bonnie Campbell]

When my daughter separated from her now ex, she moved in with me. I charged her $500 a month rent and half the utilities. When she found a place of her own I gave her the 'rent' money back. I think charging your child is a good thing (as long as finances allow). If they can't afford it, then sharing household chores should be expected. My daughter considered it a win/win situation. She had plenty of money saved up so she could move without getting hit with big expenses.

[Peter Kelly]

If it's a case of economic hardship I wouldn't charge her anything. The ol' shoe could be on the other foot someday...

[Alan Rutherford]

If the "tenant" is moving forward with his/her life and free rent helps out as in Ryan's post, great.

If the move home was the result of a crisis and you're willing to let it coast for a couple of months - fine.

But at some point the adult child needs to act like an adult and build his/her own life. You can help that process by not being needlessly nurturing. In other words, charge rent (and keep it). More than a token amount but no need to be greedy.

[Phil Thien]

If it's a case of economic hardship I wouldn't charge her anything. The ol' shoe could be on the other foot someday...

Exactly this.

[Matt Meiser]

I lived with my parents for a few years after college, before I got married. My parents deal with college was always that we had to pay them back for what they contributed, but the rate we (still) pay interest-free will never pay it off. While I lived with them I could either pay some rent, or pay extra toward that--hard choice! In addition I did the lawn care and a lot of the home maintenance. My dad retired about then and was doing all the cooking, my mom did the grocery shopping to his list but I'd often stop for this and that at the grocery store. But I was getting off dirt-cheap, which let me acquire some toys and put together the money for the down payment on my (our...since I proposed to her during the purchase process) first house. When I was living there I was on the road close to 1/2 time averaged over the time I lived there.

We lived with them 3 weeks when we moved from our first house and got an offer we couldn't refuse that was going to force us to put everything in storage. My daughter was 2...my dad loved it. We bought groceries and stuff but they didn't charge us. We moved in an hour behind Thanksgiving guests leaving and out an hour ahead of Christmas guests arriving...it was a wild time! This last move we stayed there a week, but this time my dad's health is such that he can't be home alone and it gave my mom an opportunity to take a trip while we got a week to put the house into some semblance of order so it was win-win for everyone. But for a while it was looking like our purchase deal was going to fall apart, and that we'd end up building so we were all preparing for a 6-month stay if it came to that.

[Chuck Wintle]

My adult daughter has moved back in with us. I am trying to decide if I should charge her board( we don't need the money but I think everyone who is able , should contribute) .
What do you do? What do you Think?
if yes , what percent of her income do you suggest we charge?
thanks

If she is still working then a nominal amount for groceries and other services, laundry, heat and light etc. If not working then expect her to do the lions share of the daily chores.

[Frederick Skelly]

Nothing wrong with people paying room and board to their folks. It teaches younger adults responsibility (no free lunch on mom and dad). It allows older children a way to save face ("well, I'm paying what I can while I'm down on my luck and living here.") If you feel guilty about accepting it, why not quietly open a savings account and deposit their room/board checks. Then give them (or their kids) the money when they move out. Great way to give them a new start/nest egg.

Edit: % of income? Depends on their circumstances. If they are down on their luck, 5-10% of their take home pay, assuming you're going to save it up for them. If they were living with me while working a good job in good circumstances, maybe a bit more. I agree with folks above who say boarders need to contribute in some fashion though - work, money, etc. But personally, I wouldn't feel guilty secretly saving it for them.

[Erik Loza]

I wouldn't charge her board. I'd make her do some chores like grocery shopping or laundry or cleaning. That might be a real win-win for both of you - even if (scratch that, ESPECIALLY if) it's a lot of work for her.

If it's a case of economic hardship I wouldn't charge her anything. The ol' shoe could be on the other foot someday...

These ^^^....

We have had friends for who have fallen on hard times stay with us upon occasion. We never asked for money but everyone chipped in in ways that they could. House sitting while we were gone (so that we did not need to pay the pet sitters) or cooking and cleaning for us. I think everyone agrees: It's un-couth to live there and not contribute to the household in one way or another.

Also, and this may or may not be relevant here: Is there a cultural element in the equation? Half my family is from Mexico and there, you are welcome any time and could be considered un-gracious if you did not let the host household cook and clean up after you, particularly if you are male. That has created awkwardness for me in the past.

Erik