Personal Dread of Flying

[Jim Koepke]

Especially if I saw my plane out the terminal window looked like these:

This Way Up.jpg

Flying 101.jpg

I have been told of a pilot back in the 1950s and '60s who used to walk through the plane conversing with passengers while carrying a book with the title clearly on display, How To Fly. At other times he would carry a red tipped white cane and tap his way down the aisle.

Kulula airlines also seems to have a little jocularity among the members of the flight crew:

“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”

“That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphault.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate.”

“Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

Thank you, but I think I'll walk.

jtk

[Garth Almgren]

I like a company with a sense of humor that knows how to laugh at itself. Reminds me of some of the ads that PEMCO, GEICO, or Progressive put out.

[Greg R Bradley]

I think that is hilarious but from a business standpoint I might wonder a bit.

My dad still has the manual to my grandfather's plane where it told you how to put it together and then how to fly it.........and how to fix it when it broke!

[Bert Kemp]

Seriously I was sitting in a SW 737 getting ready to depart Manchester NH bound for Phoenix and all of a sudden we hear this banging on the fuselage and this banging continues for like 10 mins. The Captain comes on and says they were having trouble getting a small hatch to close and stay closed, nothing to worry bout. Banging goes on for a few more Min's and stops. Then we hear power tools like drills and stuff then more banging and finally more drills and the Captain comes on again said they couldn't get the hatch to stay shut so they just took it off and will be on our way in a few min's folks. I'm like ok is this thing gonna fly or what.

[Randy Rose]

Being in the 500 mph aluminum tube of potential death at 30,000 feet is fine.

Being packed like a sardine with strangers for interminable hours gives me the willies.

Evidently a personality defect..

[Bruce Wrenn]

Two of our kids work for airlines, which means we fly for cheap. But wife didn't want to fly. Finally son took her on a short flight in one of those puddle jumpers, pre 9-11. The cockpit was only a curtain away from passenger area. Son and wife were in front row. Wife looks at son and asked if these guys have ever flow this plane before, as one is reading instruction manual, and other is agreeing with each step.

[John Stankus]

Being in the 500 mph aluminum tube of potential death at 30,000 feet is fine.

30,000 ft is usually not a problem....it is when you get to zero feet there can be a problem


A good landing is one you can walk away from, a great landing is one you can reuse the airplane

[Randy Rose]

Wife looks at son and asked if these guys have ever flow this plane before, as one is reading instruction manual, and other is agreeing with each step.

One assumes that they were going through the pre-flight checklist per prudent regulations

[Randy Rose]

30,000 ft is usually not a problem....it is when you get to zero feet there can be a problem


A good landing is one you can walk away from, a great landing is one you can reuse the airplane

Well said.

The problem for pilots ( esp. jets) is usually:

" Running out of airspeed, altitude, and talent, all at the same time"

[John Goodin]

One of my favorite Ron White jokes is about flying when the captain announces they lost an engine. He seat mate asks him how far they can fly on one engine. His response. . . all the way to the scene of the crash."

[Greg R Bradley]

Commercial planes scare me almost to the point where I'm not willing to get on them. Flying in the plane I built with a friend is not a problem. I think I read the instructions correctly......... Tab A goes into slot B, uh where?
Glastar.jpg
Flying in a friends CJ in the right seat is as good as it gets. So what if I had to crawl into the luggage compartment to use a pocket knife and a paper clip to get the door closed light to go off. It isn't a problem because I know how it works.

Flying in the jump seat on another friends new Citation Ten is like a kid in a candy store. Smoking past the commercial flights and now slowing down to do the last 100 miles in 10 minutes, :
SlowingDown.jpg

[Mark W Pugh]

Well said.

The problem for pilots ( esp. jets) is usually:

" Running out of airspeed, altitude, and talent, all at the same time"

Yep, I do this for a living, and thankfully this doesn't happen at a frequent rate, for US pilots anyway. So, sit back and relax, and enjoy the jokes!!!

[John K Jordan]

they were having trouble getting a small hatch to close

The longer you fly the more stories you collect!

On a flight out of San Louis Potosi in Mexico two guys worked on the main cabin door for a long time. The pilot took off and landed twice to test it and then they worked on it some more. I was sitting where I could see what they were doing. The final solution was duct tape.

I was piloting a plane once out of Knoxville when the engine quit at on takeoff about 400 ft off the ground. As they say, the runway behind you and the air above you is worth nothing. Somehow got it turned around and on the ground. At least I didn't have the terror of possibly burning to death that my buddy did when his cabin suddenly filled with smoke. A maintenance guy had spilled engine oil and just after takeoff the exhaust manifold got good and hot. Yikes.

That was probably more exciting than the big thud I heard on a Delta flight out of Atlanta. The pilot circled a holding pattern a LONG time (presumably to burn off excess fuel) and when we set down I could see the runway lined with the flashing lights of dozens of emergency vehicles. Just in case. Oh, just a little problem with the landing gear.

JKJ

[Jason Roehl]

Hey, aviation has a perfect record--they haven't left any planes up in the air!

[Larry Frank]

If you fly, you probably have had an incident of some kind.

I was on a 747 that lost an engine west of Alaska and had to turn around to make emergency landing in Anchorage.

The most exciting was an aborted take off in a 737. Pilot thought he had a fire in the cockpit. A bird had hit the top of the plane causing a lot of fine dust down. Glad my seat belt was on tight as the plane stopped really fast.

Still safer than driving on the interstate.