Robert,
We all have gone (or are going) through the dilemma that we are discussing in this thread. I certainly did, and I am reflective by nature, so I gave it a lot of thought. I decided that I was being too reflective, to the point of narcissism, and I see a lot of that in woodworking forums. For example, what is the perfect sharpening system, how sharp is sharp enough, or anxiety about the meaning of "hand made". I once asked (on another forum) how thin I should make the walls of my turned bowls. I was greatly insulted by the answers I got, until I realized that nobody could answer the question for me. Nobody can answer your question for you.
I resolved the dilemma after some years of anxiety about "measuring up" with a simple formula. I seek to make furniture that is attractive, durable and useful for its intended purpose, according to both my and the client's standards. I take jobs only from reasonable people and only when I'm sure I can execute them well. When I make sure that I know the client's expectations I have never failed to please him/her, and any narcissistic misgivings were much easier to live with. The wisdom in this (if I may call it such) is that my three-part formula put ME in the background and focused instead on criteria (mainly the client's criteria).
Since you titled this thread toward a philosophy of joinery, let me go on, although I realize this is getting preachy. You have probably heard the one about the sign in the custom furniture shop. It said "Our work is fast, cheap and highest quality. Pick any two." (Think about it.) Woodworking is multifaceted: we each have multiple objectives that we must balance. In addition to speed, cost and quality, most of us strive to improve our competence, which is a combination of knowledge, skill and attitude. Somewhere along the way we hope to find pleasure and satisfaction in accomplishment. That is an analytical way of stating that craftsmanship is impossibly complicated and that we each must find and honor our own way. Custom woodworking is, like other crafts, intensely individualistic, yet if we contemplate our navels too much we wind up making birdhouses all day.
These thoughts will surely offend somebody. I don't really mean to do that, simply to offer my best answer to the questions raised in this forum about a philosophy of craftsmanship.
Doug