Peter, that was hilarious but probably not politically correct. But who gives a not about PC?
I want to learn to use hand tools. After 30 years of software development (which changes almost daily) and subjecting myself to continuously having to learn new things I really want to simplify my life. That's why I want to learn how to properly use planes and other hand tools.
One more- I want to learn everything there is to know about Gustav Stickley and Craftsman furniture. I love that style of wooden furniture.