Grand Unified Theory of the Universe

[Kent A Bathurst]

OK - I'm no physicist - all I know about physics is this:

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

But beyond that, when the bright guys finally figure out the GUTU, I am confident that it will cover two things:

1) The attraction of hurricanes and tornadoes to trailer parks, and
2) All of those strings of little white Christmas tree lights that worked last year when they came off the tree, went directly into storage, and don't work today. What - they have a litttle hidden timer/clock imbedded in there somewhere?

[Belinda Barfield]

And
3) Those strings of lights are supposed to work if you replace the blown bulb, but it is impossible to find that one bulb.

[Steve Schlumpf]

Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

Which finger do you use?

[Steve Schlumpf]

Why, my flicking finger of course!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Thanks for the sage advice Steve!

[Jim Rimmer]

Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

How do you make it flicker when it's not on? I have flicked (or thumped) unitl my finger hurt and nothing.

[John Coloccia]

And
3) Those strings of lights are supposed to work if you replace the blown bulb, but it is impossible to find that one bulb.

This must be what that String Theory thing is all about. Good. It's about time someone figures this nonsense out.

[Greg Peterson]

But will the GUTU demystify why my extension cords get knotted up every time?

[Belinda Barfield]

I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.

[Jerome Hanby]

I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.

Buy all the same brand and color of socks, leave the extras i the basket for next cycle.

I think when you get to heaven you get back all those lost socks...

[Belinda Barfield]

Buy all the same brand and color of socks, leave the extras i the basket for next cycle.

I think when you get to heaven you get back all those lost socks...

Can't do it Jerome, all the same color socks would just be boring. Some women have a thing for shoes, I have a thing for socks. In my universe if I have a sock with no mate I put the single sock on top of the dryer to await its mate. In my SO's universe he puts a sock with no mate in his sock drawer to await its mate. So, depending on who takes the clothes out of the dryer, a single sock has two options for existence. I think in this case the lost socks are just living in parallel universes.

[Dennis McGarry]

Can't do it Jerome, all the same color socks would just be boring. Some women have a thing for shoes, I have a thing for socks. In my universe if I have a sock with no mate I put the single sock on top of the dryer to await its mate. In my SO's universe he puts a sock with no mate in his sock drawer to await its mate. So, depending on who takes the clothes out of the dryer, a single sock has two options for existence. I think in this case the lost socks are just living in parallel universes.

Could it be there are a bunch of single socks in a drawer and a bunch on the dryer destined to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?

[Ken Fitzgerald]

to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?

Now you are describing the relationship between the LOML and I!

[Belinda Barfield]

Could it be there are a bunch of single socks in a draw and a bunch on the dryer destined to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?

Sadly, Dennis, I believe you are correct. The wormhole I created to connect the sock drawer to the top of the dryer is being blocked by a substance I have named Stubborness. This substance seems to be at fault for much of what is wrong in my universe. Try as I might I have yet to find a way to defeat Stubborness. It is simply impossible to have the wormhole go from the top of the dryer to the sock drawer.

After many, many attempts I have succesfully created a wormhole from the side of the bed to the clothes hamper, so perhaps there is still hope for the socks. I also have to defeat the alien cat that likes to take a sock into the neverland under the bed. For some reason that cat loves my socks!