Need your words of wisdom!!

[Royce Meritt]

Hey everyone! I need your help. In my "day job" as a teacher I try to give my students some "weekly words of wisdom". Some of our previous words of wisdom have included:

"The more times you run over a dead possum the flatter he gets!"

"Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen all day!"

"If you come to a fork in the road, pick it up"

"What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?"


As you can see, these are very profound words of wisdom that I try to pass along to my students. However, it is difficult to come up with such noteworthy wisdom every week. How 'bout it? Anyone care to pass along YOUR words of wisdom to my students? Thanks.

[Lee Schierer]

Here are a few!

You win some,you lose some, some get rained out and others you can't even buy a ticket for.

Never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man!

If you don't know what it does, leave it alone!

It is difficult to engage in a mud slinging contest without getting some on you.

Staddling a fence will get you splinters in your seat.

[Keith Starosta]

Try this...

"Remember, no matter where you go...there you are."

"A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a donut with no hole is a danish."




Keith

[Chris Padilla]

How about:

Q: How come when you find something it is always the last place you look?
A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

[Michael Perata]

If it works don't fix it. (Mork, circa 70's)

Life is like a carrot is a carrot is a carrot (Gertrude Stein, circa early)

Hope is the thing with feathers (Emily Dickinson, circa way back)



I know, I know...

[Dave Richards]

Life is easier if you learn to plow around the stumps.

[Dan Mages]

...there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight. Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn't need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn't do the thing he ought to do, and so the expert isn't prepared for him.
Mark Twain- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made School Boards.
Mark Twain- Following the Equator; Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar

Raphael paints wisdom, Handel sings it, Phidias carves it, Shakespeare writes it, Wren builds it, Columbus sails it, Luther preaches it, Washington arms it, Watt mechanizes it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
Henry David Thoreau - Walden.

“Tut, tut, child,” said the Duchess. “Everything's got a moral if only you can find it.”
Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland. Chap. viii.

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
Albert Einstein

Dan

Oh... and one last quote

There is nothing lower than the human race except the French.
Mark Twain - quoted by Carl Dolmetsch, Our Famous Guest

[Mike Circo]

"Never argue with an idiot. He drags you down to his level, then beats you with experience."


"If first you don't succeed..... Get a bigger hammer."

[Michael Stafford]

I collect these tidbits of wisdom and parcel them out as needed:

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it!

If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

It is better to copulate than never.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

Place your clothes and weapons whers you can find them in the dark.

Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something.

Autocracy is based upon the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

You live and you learn. Or you don't live long.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Natural laws have no pity.

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get.

It is amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing-- and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it is lonely.

[John Miliunas]

I sincerely believe we were put on this earth to accomplish certain tasks.
I'm so far behind, I'm going to live forever!

When I die, I want it to be at a meeting. The transition between life and death would hardly be noticeable.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. -- Josh Billings, 1818-1885

Ignorance: untaught innocence. Stupidity: you gotta work at. The difference is the wide margin in Wisdom.

Never forget that;
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil
is that good men do nothing.
--- Edmund Burke ---

Never leave for tomorrow what can wait until the day after.

[Tyler Howell]

No Good Deed Goes unpunished.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow's a Mystery, Today's a Gift. That's why they call it the Present

[Ian Barley]

If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a duck.

Anything that seems too good to be true almost certainly is.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Three things you never talk about......religion....politics...and another man's wife

[Christopher Pine]

When you work with clowns funny things happen!

[Ken Garlock]

Ignorance can be cured with education, but stupidity is to the bone.

You can't win, you can't break even, you can't quit the game.

Time flys like an arrow, but fruit flys like a banana.

If you remain calm when everyone around you is panicking, you don't understand the problem.

If it is darn easy, why don't you do it?

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

If it is not really empty, why do they call it "space?"

No one "makes" you angry(mad), you decide to be angry(mad).

Unless you are the lead dog, the scenery is all the same.

Companies reorganize to give the appearance of progress.

I have been allocated only a fixed number of heart beats, and I am not going to waste them on exercise.