John, I don't believe that the responses that Brendan has been getting has anything to do with his age or level of experience. It is a soulful reflection of his attitude.
As for a workbench made of 2x4's....I think he's making that now.
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John, I don't believe that the responses that Brendan has been getting has anything to do with his age or level of experience. It is a soulful reflection of his attitude.
As for a workbench made of 2x4's....I think he's making that now.
I drink, therefore I am.
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Rob, those words sound so profound, someone should right a song about them...
I drink, therefore I am.
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You're right. I'm sure Brendan feels that he's Under My Thumb and that this is his Beast of Burden, but I'm sure someday he'll get some Satisfaction and finally have Sympathy for the Devil.Originally Posted by Mike Cruz
Rob, those words sound so profound, someone should right a song about them...
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Brendan:
1. Maybe part of the problem with Grandpa is your attitude. In a couple of posts you talk about how you "forced" him to do something or that you refused to do something he wanted. That's pretty strong language from a 15 yo and if it is accurate, you're probably not winning a lot of points with Grandpa. Your response to several people here (who you asked for advice) as been pretty disrespectful. Maybe you just need to take a deep breath, set aside some time to be alone and do some introspective questioning of yourself.
Having said that, no more negatives from me.
2. Check out some of the threads here about small shops. Lots of guys do amazing work in small spaces that makes it imperative that they keep things orgainized and cleaned up. Check out some other sites as well (wood whisperer dot com, for one) and maybe incorporate some ideas from small shop owners.
3. Sounds like you may have some crappy tools that are causing some issues. If Grandpa isn't a woodworker but just has some old tools around, maybe they need to be tuned up, blades sharpened, etc. Check out some threads here on those subjects.
4. I mentioned in another post that maybe you want to check out neanderthal approach to your projects. Again, there's an entire forum here dedicated to that. Give them a read.
5. And checkout Woodcraft, if there is a store near you, for their free or low cost seminars.
Last edited by Jim Rimmer; 04-15-2010 at 1:10 PM.
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Hehehehehehehehehehe
I drink, therefore I am.
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And being fifteen, likely knows none of these songs.
[OP]
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Under my Thumb by the rolling stones; Sympathy for the devil, if I am not mistaken is Guns n' roses; never heard of Beast of burden....
As for you Rob, about the humbling, please understand, that I ave Asperger's Syndrome. I have been told by many, that a result of which can be miss perseptions. Often, which you have obviously seen, I tend to take things literally and articulate in a way that is out of context. So Mike, stop attempting to tell every one its my attitude, okay?
Thanks
-Brendan
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Mike is fifteen? He's the one I replied to. So lighten up (borrowing your phrase from an earlier post).And being fifteen, likely knows none of these songs.
Thanks for explaining that Brendan. With that in mind, maybe people won't jump to conclusions about what you are trying to say. Just realize that some of your replies can immediately put someone in a defensive mode. If someone says something that bothers you, take it for what its worth and just let it go.
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Brendan, your attitude is what your attitude is. Whether there is a medical reason for it is another story. I would appologize for any inappropriate comments I have made, but in light of this piece of the puzzle not being previously public knowledge, I don't think one is necessary.
Now that you have divulged what might be a very important clue as to what might be stemming some of your difficulty, I get a clearer picture of the situation. Not saying it is all your fault. Just that any condition that adding to you're being a teenager may (or may not) intensify the relationship between you and your Grandfather. I'm not saying this to be demeaning, it is just that being a teenager, in an of itself, by definition, inherantly, makes you more difficult to get along with. I was once 15. I knew everything then. Apparently, I forgot it all and started learning.
Anyway, while this forum may be an outlet for helping you work out the problems you are having with your family, counceling is likely what you may need. I'm not saying you are crazy, or anything like that. I don't mean this in a derogetory way. I'm suggesting it as a way to deal with a person that can truely help you. Seeing a councelor or therapist is nothing to be ashamed of...more people see them then you would ever imagine...and even more people should!
In my opinion, there are family dynamics that NEED to be addressed in your household. What you are describing sounds like a reality TV show that would be on FOX. I'm not saying ya'll are screwed up (boy, don't get me started on screwed up families), but there are "issues" that really seem to need attention. If, in fact, your Grandfather and brother are doing what you say they are doing, they are being disrespectful, harmful, and hurtful. It may be, as you stated, just in your perception of the events that have transpired. I don't know. I don't know you and your family. It isn't for me to figure out. I don't think it is right for me to even assess what should be done to straighten out what is going on in your house. That would be best for a professional.
While your Aspergers Syndrome wouldn't normally be any of our business (from a woodworking perspective), and I would completely understand if/that you may not want to make that public (because it is personal), it would have been useful information given that you weren't asking how to hand cut a dovetail, but rather how to deal with other people (namely family). Dealing with others means relationships, communication, and interaction. All of which, if I understand Aspergers correctly, are made more difficult.
To answer your question: What do I do to keep people out of my projects? I lock MY shop. This is what made your question so hard. 99% of the people on this forum have their OWN shops. They are not using someone elses space for a shop. Imagine you were in a woodworking class in school or at Woodcraft. When you were done working on your project for the day, would you leave everything out...your project, tools, mess? If you did, would you expect everything to be right where you left it? In the same condition? Probably not, because you are leaving it/them in a place that is not your own and is shared. The same goes for your parents' garage.
How your parents, grandparents, and brother treat you and your stuff is the part of the equation that is best left up to a councelor, therapist, or some sort of professional...not a bunch of yahoo chip makers.
Last edited by Mike Cruz; 04-15-2010 at 5:27 PM.
I drink, therefore I am.
Member
Hmmm, Brendan, Maybe make a nice tool chest/tool crib to keep your tools in. Could let your practice some skills, show your parents and grand parents your skills can help with organization in the shop, give you something to do that you love, and will keep folks out of your tools.
Glad its my shop I am responsible for - I only have to make me happy.
Member
Just FYI and not a dig at all but all of the songs are Stones tunes.
In that vein:
Its a SAD DAY when you are trying to build a bread box and be MOTHER"S LITTLE HELPER and your Grandpa has been on you for a LONG LONG WHILE and you just GOTTA GET AWAY, IN ANOTHER LAND, 2000 LIGHT YEARS FROM HOME before you have your 19TH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN so you TRY A LITTLE HARDER but SURPRISE, SURPRISE your OUT OF TIME for stain so you just PAINT IT BLACK.
All written by Mick and Keith except "In another land" which I think Bill Wyman wrote who once in a blue moon traded in 4 strings for a pen, all these tunes are from their London days
Brenden, in the end the folks here make big pieces of wood into smaller ones then hook them together to make larger ones again, 99.9% of us wouldn't know a DSM-IV if it hit us in the head and thus aren't equipped to help you solve interpersonal issues. We didn't get adults when we were 15 and don't get teenagers now that we are older, its the way of the world and you will be on the other side soon enough.
Ask us whether Powermatic or Grizzly is better, how to cut a mortise and tennon or cobble together a jig to do some obscure task and people will wax poetic for pages. On the contrary ask us how to bend adults to your will or how to get a younger sibling to obey your commands and we tend to get grumpy. Use the vast knowledge here to learn the art and the craft of working wood and seek out a different better equipped group of people to help with the other stuff because most of us here just aren't equipped to advise another parents kids in family matters.
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My wife would at times place garbage bags in my shop. Everytime they, or any other nonsense junk, showed up I immediately placed it on the floor in the middle of her kitchen. Once my father-in-law brought a half dozen bags of topsoil, for my wifes garden, and placed them on my tablesaw. When I got home from work, I promptly took all 6 bags and placed them on the hood of his car ( I amy even have opened one of the bags a little). He was a little unhappy but, when I explained my tablesaw was worth more than his POS car he began to get the point.
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The only self acknowledged fifteen year old is Brendan.And I am light..
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All Rolling Stones lyrics...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
That explains a lot. I thought there might be more going on here than could be explained by your age. The written word for most of us, is not our most effective way to communicate. Facial expressions, body language, are absent. Often, the intent of the writer is veiled by the starkness of the words.
Along the way I picked up a saying that describes this best: "Words do not convey meaning... they conjur them." Each of us reacts to what is being said or written by all of our past experience and knowledge. But we lack the full experience and meaning of the writer or speaker and all too often get the message wrong.
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Remind me never to get on your wrong side.
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