Wisdom for Soon-to-be Husbands?

[Archie Hendrick]

I have three nephews getting married this year – two twenty-somethings and a thirty year old. As the “patriarch” of our family, I’ll be expected to offer up some pearls of wisdom to the boys. I have a few that I’ve picked up from my own marriage and a couple others I’ve come across along the way. I’d appreciate any additions you folks can add to my list. Here’s what I have so far:

• When she asks, “Is my butt getting bigger?” Don’t blurt out, “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!”
• If she asks, “Do you think my butt is bigger than my sister’s?” Don’t say, “No, Hon, you’re a 36 and she was 36 5/8ths at Thanksgiving.”
• There will be many, many times when your wife will want to talk about serious family matters. Sometimes you're gonna have to listen.
• Sometimes, she’ll give you that serious look and say, “Come in to the kitchen. We need to talk.” Don’t say, “Sure, Hon, let me get a magazine.”

And, here are the two secrets to a happy marriage that I really do live by:

1: It’s ok to be mad sometimes. It’s NEVER ok to be mean.
2: Do as you are told!

I’d appreciate hearing your rules for a happy marriage!

Archie

(By the way, I knew Carol was the woman for me when, early in our relationship, she said, “We need to buy a Sawzall.”)

[David G Baker]

I didn't marry the two women in my life that I had Sawzall conversations with. Maybe I should have. I have been married twice and divorced twice. My advice is to spend more time picking your spouse than you do picking out a pair of shoes. It is considerably less expensive to get rid of an old pair of shoes. Another one is to make darn sure that you like your spouse and are good friends. The romance may not keep the relationship flowing comfortably forever. If the romance slows down you will at least have a friend to spend time with. I really like and agree with "It's okay to be mad sometimes. It is never okay to be mean".

[Brian Kent]

I agree with: "Marry your best friend."

Be faithful. (I always do that one)
Mark your calendars to buy cards. (I never do that one)

And when she says, "Do these Jeans make me look fat?" don't say, "It's not the Jeans, honey."

[Bruce Page]

The most important keys to a lasting relationship are friendship, trust, respect, and patience.

[Mitchell Andrus]

The most important keys to a lasting relationship are friendship, trust, respect, and patience.

... and a healthy sense of humor. If you can't laugh at the same stuff, forget it.
.

[Mitchell Andrus]

A piece of advise for after the wedding.... The pastor who married us said during the ceremony:

"Don't forget to spend some time once a month with each other, just yourselves. Wouldn't it be a shame if couples stopped dating on their wedding day."

I'll never forget that.
.

[Ben Franz]

Marriage is an "off the rack" proposition - no custom tailoring service available. You have to accept your spouse as they are, not how you would have them be.

[Mark Engel]

I can't offer any advice. I haven't been married long enough. 30 years this June 28th. Someday, maybe I will figure it out.

[Willard Foster]

Learn how to break the "woman Code." If she says, "Honey, do you think the lawn needs mowing"?, it means HONEY, THE LAWN NEEDS MOWING, NOW!

If you are having trouble starting the lawm mower and she says "Maybe you need a new sparkplug." Go to the store immediately and buy a new sparkplug. If you work on it it for an hour, then get a spark plug, you will never hear the end of it.

Good luck,

We are all pullin' for 'em

[David Gregory]

Don't get married. Find a woman you can't stand, buy her a house, and you're done with it. IF option one is ignored and they get married anyway.....BEFORE the talk about having kids gets very far along, go to McDonalds Playland on any Saturday afternoon. That should end that discussion pretty quick. YMMV

[Prashun Patel]

As Nancy Reagan said when asked about the secret to her happy marriage:

"It's better to be happy than right".

And, as Seal says of his marriage to Heidi Klum:

"Happy Wife. Happy Life."

[Paul Ryan]

Recite over and over " Yes Dear, I understand Dear," and you will have a happy house hold. If the women is happy everyone is happy, if she isn't happy no one is happy.

Words my father told me, before I got married. I tested them our first year or 2 of marriage, and found out he was correct as usual.

[Scott T Smith]

1 - Never go to bed mad
2 - establish a "Date night", and make it a priority either each week or every other week.
3 - live by the golden rule. If your spouse makes you mad, respond to her in the same way that you'd want to be treated by her in the event that you made her mad.
4 - talk, share, laugh and love. Not just occasionally, but constantly.
5 - Every so often, ask yourself if you and your spouse are growing together, or growing apart. If the latter, do something to change direction.
6 - Don't let your in-laws run your life, or your spouse's life. Establish boundaries from the beginning and let them know (in private) when they are overstepping bounds. Not just her relatives, but your's too. Do this in partnership with your spouse. Few things can make life more miserable than meddling relatives. Few things can make life more grand than having relatives that you truly enjoy being with.
7 - Don't quite "living" just because you got married. Imagine yourself sitting on a rocking chair on a porch in your 80's, and not being able to say "Gee, I wish that I would have done XYZ". Go ahead and do XYZ when you have the opportunity.
8 - Marriage is a partnership - not a dictatorship. Choose someone that will walk beside you - not in front of - or behind you.
9 - When you say "I love you", mean it. Say it often.
10. It's the little things... leave notes in special places letting her know that she's important to you. Examples include in the cookie jar or above the visor in her car.
11. Don't lose your personality - or let your spouse lose hers - just because you became partners. Keep a balance between things that you do apart (such as woodshop stuff), and things that you do together.
12. If you "want a friend", remember that you have to "be a friend."
13. Cherish her.

[Joe Shinall]

One really big word that every one married needs to remember. Maybe have it tattooed on your hand or backwards on your forehead:


COMPROMISE

[Brian Effinger]

Two words - "Yes dear!"