Truths about yard work...

[Bryan Morgan]

As I was mowing the lawn and doing some yardwork today I realized some truths...

While you are pushing the mower there is no wind. Not even the slightest breeze. You pray for some, but none ever comes and you get hot and sweaty. Until.....

When you are sweeping up or using the blower, wind always kicks up blowing exactly the opposite direction as you need. When you stop sweeping, the wind will stop.

When you are the farthest away from your garage, THAT is when your weed whacker will run out of string or your mower out of grass.

Anything with a cord will get tangled on everything you thought it couldn't possibly get caught on.

Anyone have anything else?

[Ken Fitzgerald]

There hasn't been enough 2-4 D produced to kill the Jumpin' Johnnies that have sprung up in the grass in my yard.

Roundup is killing those Jumpin' Johnnies.....and the grass too.

My wife has been gone for 4 weeks....she doesn't know about the Roundup

[Bill LaPointe]

With old age comes great wisdom.....

If I can drive the riding mower over it, it gets cut.
If I can't, it don't.

If it's green it is good. Even green weeds are good.

I have no knowledge of string trimmers, edgers, rakes, shovels and Round-Up.

I have metioned to LOML that the shapely 30 year old lady next door stays that way because she understands how string trimmers, edgers, rakes, shovels and Round-Up work.

When caught riding lawn mower over LOML flower bed, it is best to grin vacantly and drool profusely screaming loudly "I'm lost! Where am I!"

It is not a very good idea to drive the riding mower over the cattails growing in the fish pond.

If the grass must be cut, several martinis will help keep you cool in the heat of the day. Note: Years of experience has taught me that it is best, after the 4th martini, to run the mower with the blade not turning! This makes the job take longer, thereby justifying a 5th martini.

Great wisdom does not come cheaply!

[Steve Leverich]

One of the great things about living in the country is this (more realistic) definition -

Lawn - a green (or brown) area where all weeds are (sometimes) at the same height... Steve

[Al Wasser]

around here the summer water bill seems about equal to the winter heating bill

[Joe Pelonio]

around here the summer water bill seems about equal to the winter heating bill

No such problem here, I have watered the lawn exactly twice so far this year
and it's nice & green. Have to mow weekly May & June, then once in July, August and September and that's it. Other than July 5 through August it gets enough water from the rain, and in fall-spring it's too cold to grow much.

On the other hand, the tomatoes and zucchini barely start to ripen and we get a freeze.

[Belinda Barfield]

We hold these truths to be self evident . . .

And to Bill's wisdom, I've found that doing laundry is less tiresome with a martini or two. Of course, that could be why my SO found a pair of my socks in his sock drawer this morning.

[Zach England]

I have spent my entire home-owning life trying to kill the lawn. It's almost gone.