Social networking

[Dan Hintz]

"Stop oppressing me!"

"We're not oppressing you, Stan..."

[Eric DeSilva]

Belinda, are we reading the same thread? No one is criticizing the user? You haven't--and it may be unfair of me to put this in a reply to you (to be 100% clear, when I say "you" below, I mean "you, the naysayers," not "you, Belinda"). I find this thread somewhat appalling, both because it involves a whole bunch of people effectively bragging about their inability to use technology, but also because no one has noted the irony of most of the criticisms that are applied to others being applied to themselves.

Let me explain. As the OP noted, SMC is a social network. But what I don’t comprehend is why SMC is obviously good, and FB, Twitter, and blogs are bad (doesn’t SMC have blogs, btw?). Content on FB, Twitter and blogs is silly, but SMC is good, not because we are judging content, but because of the way they are communicated and what the use of the media says about the user. I laughed when I read the note about “other communications being just as good and don’t leave someone else with ownership of pictures and information”—say, like SMC forums?

But let me run through some quotes—some of which appear to me objectively to be derogatory or pejorative as to the users of these media—and some observations I'd make to the naysayers as food for thought:

"I don't need 'friends' to know my every move." Why would they? It is your decision what to tweet, or FB, or post on a blog. The implication that you have to open up more or give up more about yourself is patently incorrect and reflects only a lack of understanding of the media.

"140 characters is NOT a conversation." 140 characters isn't a conversation, but a bunch of serial 140 character thoughts exchanged between two people actually is. As for those saying a call takes less time, actually it doesn’t for many. I would much rather get an SMS than—say—have to listen to a rambling voicemail. Besides, sometimes I don’t want a conversation. Sometimes I just want to let my wife know that my flight arrived and I’ll be through the gate in a few minutes so she can pick me up outside.

"I do not need something following me around and beeping every time someone decides to buy a milkshake or go to the bathroom." The implication is that all communications are inconsequential, no? That somehow you will drown in trivialities if you participate? Most communications are opt in. If you find someone bleating that kind of stuff, the solution is simple--cease to friend them or follow them or read their blog. But not all communications that take place via SMS or blog or FB are inconsequential.

FB is "spawned by the "Look at me"!! generation." People who want people to look at them will find ways, FB or not. But sure, let's tag a whole generation with generalities spawned by our limited experience with the media. I might add that to the extent the younger generation is perceived as clamoring for attention, perhaps it is because the older generation has been too preoccupied to actually listen to them.

"Who told all these people that what they had to say was so important." Yes, certainly, all of the content on twitter, FB and blogs can be dismissed as junk. Because we should judge statements not by their content, but rather by the medium by which they choose to communicate. And the irony here is palpable--doesn't it occur to anyone that the sentiment is just as valid if pointed at any thread in the off topic forum? Sure, what *you* have to say is obviously important. Just not anyone else using “bad” social media.

"When did they get the impression that anyone cared." To the extent that you might regard social media as an attempt to be heard, did it ever occur to you that perhaps the reason the younger generation is doing all this is because you older folks aren't listening to them? I would also note that because they are young, assuming they have nothing valid to say is contemptible. I, for one, will never assume that wisdom and age are a 1:1 relationship.

"The younger generations treat real life as simply photo ops and dress rehearsals for their facebook page." Let's see... If we realize that, for many, FB is a mechanism for keeping friends apprised of their life--in a very open manner--why is wanting a picture to share on FB inherently bad? Ask yourself why it is that you seem to believe taking a picture to post on FB somehow takes a life experience and devalues it? There's logic there that I simply don't understand.

"I heard a kid saying "lol" in the grocery store the other day instead of laughing." I’m confused. Are you saying this is the first generation to adopt slang? I’m not really cool with that idea, hep cat.

"The junk they write online is a complete fabrication. They always brag about going out and doing all this stuff that looks impressive or "cool" to their buddies but I know for a fact they were at home drunk or sleeping or whatever." This one I find particularly odd, because it implies that a lot of content by these FB users and tweeters and bloggers is pure fabrication, spoken by a non-participant poster about participants. But, the basis for this comes from friends of the poster, not the younger generation that seems to be getting condemned here. Just because your friends lie on their FB page doesn’t mean that all FB is lies. In fact, I’m not sure the generalization extends beyond “your friends seem to be liars.”

Food for thought. My view is definitely “live and let live”—use the technology or don’t. I use some of it, I don’t use other parts of it. But recognize that—just like SMC—the technology is there for us to control. My FB network doesn’t include people that post trivial junk or lie. Yours is within your control—to the extent that you don’t like what you see on FB, that is a commentary about your network, not about FB. That being said, I don’t get ambivalence from this thread. I get a bunch of people who seem to be passing judgment and condemning not only the technologies, but also the users.

[kevin loftus]

Why dont you just come right out and say what you really mean Eric.

[Matt Meiser]

I'm only willing to read the first 140 characters so I'm not sure what he's saying

[Orion Henderson]

There was an awful lot of "kids these days" generalizations in the earlier posts. I appreciate Eric for pointing that out rather clearly.

[Belinda Barfield]

Eric,

I appreciate you taking the time to share your views. It does not appear to me that any poster had "called out" any other poster by name with criticism or for the purpose of ridicule. It just seemed to be a general discussion and at least in my case, I was more making fun of myself than of someone else, or of the media being discussed. I did not take it much to heart but I can understand that you have a different opinion. As with most things in life I tend to follow my favorite bit from the movie Roadhouse.

Cooler: "It's two nouns combined together to elicit a prescribed response."
Bouncer: "Well what if somebody calls my mama (a really bad name)?"
Cooler: "Well is she?"

Okay, now y'all can make fun of me for liking the movie. Basically I'm just trying to say if the shoe don't fit I don't bother trying to wear it. Doing so only gives me unncessary blisters and I'd just as soon go barefoot. While reading this discussion it reminded me of sitting on my grandfather's front porch listening to all the old farmers sitting around talking about the weather, the crops, them new fangled tractors and combines, and young 'uns these days. "These days" being more years ago than I want to admit. Some things never change. It doesn't make them right necessarily, but they don't change.

[Bob Riefer]

Interesting thread. The wife and I were on facebook for awhile, and decided we didn't like it.. so we cancelled our account. No harm no foul. Then, on the other hand, I keep a blog where I write about barn building... and have a ton of followers and have made some great friends. Similarly, I love to follow threads here. The real kicker is that I love my smart phone because it has nearly eliminated my need to use a computer outside of work - technology killing technology.

But yeah, I agree, this is a nice social network here.

[Dave Anderson NH]

Eric et al,
I suppose I started this thread meandering off Rick's intended track. My comments refered to me alone. Technology is neutral, is how people use it that makes it good, bad, or leaves it at neutral. My comments are explanations of my choices and what I feel appropriate for me as Dave Anderson. Anyone who is able to post here (ie use a computer) is technologically capable of using any of the other modes of communications. All it requires is some instruction, practice, or reading to get up to speed. What we have here is certainly a generational disconnect. I suppose my generation is less comfortable not with technology, but rather with its pervasiveness in 21st century everyday life. Those in the under 30 age bracket are neither better or worse than the rest of us. Rather, they have grown up in a world where communications technologies have been pervasive since they were children. In many cases it has always been that way during their lifetime and they have no recollection of time before cell phones, email, etc, etc. Again, this is neither good nor bad, its just a different perspective.

[Joe Leigh]

Belinda, are we reading the same thread?.....blah blah blah...

I had a long reply all typed out but I'm saving that for my blog.

[Callan Campbell]

Have you noticed that the younger generations treat real life as simply photo ops and dress rehearsals for their facebook page? I heard a kid saying "lol" in the grocery store the other day instead of laughing. My wife is on there to keep in touch with her family overseas and she has a couple local friends on there... I know these people in real life and the junk they write online is a complete fabrication. They always brag about going out and doing all this stuff that looks impressive or "cool" to their buddies but I know for a fact they were at home drunk or sleeping or whatever...

This is not good...

WHAT! People who "pad" their daily lives with made-up stuff on Facebook. I'm shocked, I'm speechless, LOL. OK, I don't blog, twitter, or post on Facebook, so I don't really care either... HEHEHEHEH PS, you should mess with them by posting that you can't rate them as a friend anymore since they're busted lying about their activities so much. But that would only come back to haunt you, so don't do that....

[Eric DeSilva]

Dave-

There are some very fascinating issues with the generational disconnect that should be explored--somewhere, and I suppose a woodworking forum is no better or worse a place to find rational minds. I'm not trying to single anyone out--I'm just saying people ought to reflect a bit on whether they really are making a fair effort to bridge the divide.

I will agree wholeheartedly, for example, that I find the younger kids desire (I'm 46, so no spring chicken) to live the "shared life" (as Mike H. aptly put it) mystifying. It reflects a very serious philosophical difference about privacy--and for many this is a choice, not a failure to understand what they are doing. Recognize that many of us grew up in--or close enough too--McCarthyism and fear mongering about repressive fascist regimes to have a distrust of the government and generally of sharing too much information. These kids trust. And, sometimes I wonder whether their world--which is about trust--is a better one than mine.

But recognize that there are other profound philosophical differences working here beyond that--these people interact with the world in a very different way than we do. For example, we had an expectation--more or less--that opportunities existed for each and every one of us to do better than our parents did because the economy was growing. Think about what it means to grow up when, for most, the prospects are that you will NOT do as well as your parents.

It really is staggering to me the way that the world has changed in a single generation. But, it is incumbent on us to at least try to understand them. Remember, some day they are going to be taking care of us.

[Eric DeSilva]

Belinda, I enjoy your posts, and it really was an accident of timing that meant your post preceded mine. So please don't take what I said as personal to you--especially since I appreciate your efforts (in more threads than this one) to lighten the mood.

[Brian Elfert]

I have no social networking accounts, not even Facebook. I do a lot of email and web forums and that is it.

I do have a cell phone for work and it is with me 24x7 except when I am on vacation in a place with no reception. (Such places still exist in the United States.) My cell phone is strictly for voice calls. I don't text and I don't have a smart phone. There are many times when I would like to have a smart phone to browse the web for an answer, but then I remember the $50 to $100 a month and decide I can do without it.

Having a cell phone for work is much better than a pager. I don't have to find a phone to return a call. It is certainly MUCH better than sitting at home near the phone like on-call folks did before pagers and cell phones. I get maybe one call every few months for work problems so it isn't a big deal.

[Mike Henderson]

I must admit I don't understand the attraction of Twitter. For those of you who use Twitter, why do you use it? I can understand sending text messages but I don't understand sending text messages (tweets) to a whole lot of people, many I may not know. Same with receiving messages (tweets) from people I may not know.

So what's the attraction of Twitter - why do you use it either to receive tweets or to send tweets?

Mike

[Joe Leigh]

.....these kids trust. And, sometimes I wonder whether their world--which is about trust--is a better one than mine.

Eric, I respect your opinion and your passion in explaining it. You've referred to a "generational" issue several times and I disagree with that . When I said "look at me" generation it was a euphemism for a goup of people, some young, some old who are disproportionately self absorbed. Not trusting at all, in their minds its more important to show others how important or special their lives are that they will forgo privacy to do so. Sad in my view.