Miracle Wood Drying Discovery

[Cathy Schaewe]

If you and Hart are ever within a thousand miles of each other, I want fair warning so I can depart to the other hemisphere.

I note that no one has, as yet, commented on the necessity that the old sock (with which you are burnishing the finished piece) be one worn by an old Alaskan gold miner, for approximately 20 years(continuously), and then thrown to the wolves, who digested it and then....

[David DeCristoforo]

"...no one has, as yet, commented on the necessity that the old sock ...be...worn by an old Alaskan gold miner, for approximately 20 years..."

Actually, that's a complete misconception propagated by Alaskan second hand stores in a blatant attempt to exploit gullible turners who happen to be passing through...

[Cathy Schaewe]

"...no one has, as yet, commented on the necessity that the old sock ...be...worn by an old Alaskan gold miner, for approximately 20 years..."

Actually, that's a complete misconception propagated by Alaskan second hand stores in a blatant attempt to exploit gullible turners who happen to be passing through...

Oh? And where were YOU getting the sock????

[Dan Hintz]

David, I bet there aren't many out there that know what schmaltz is...

Isn't it on the store shelf right next to the Pabst?

[John Keeton]

While the rest of you hapless souls scoff and make light of this "skillet fried" discovery, I, on the other hand, have not idly wasted my time in such wasteful activities!

I have liquidated my existing 401K funds, and re-invested in free range chicken farms. Now, we will see who laughs last!!

[David Reed]

Being a Northwest coaster living out among the as yet somewhat untamed Native American population and the land of the salmon, we have used salmon oil as a lubricant and all around health tonic for whatever ails ya and I am seeing something on the horizon here. Just starting to come into focus now......................

[Brian Effinger]

You are either:
A) Completely correct
B) Completely incorrect
C) Partly correct but mostly incorrect
D) Partly incorrect but mostly correct
E) Trying to start a fight
F) Bored out of your gourd
G) All of the above
H) None of the above

[David DeCristoforo]

"...And where were YOU getting the sock????"

I have some that I have worn for 20 years (continuously).

"I have liquidated my existing 401K funds, and re-invested in free range chicken farms."

Oh, that's just great. Wouldn't you know somebody would have to rush in and corner the market?!?!

"...If you and Hart are ever within a thousand miles of each other, I want fair warning..."

Actually this is all Hart's fault. It's because the giant exhaust fan he built (Oh , no... he never mentioned that one, did he?) has created a disturbance in the planet's air currents causing the lacquer fumes to flow directly into my back yard.

[James Combs]

You know, at one time I thought I was the member of very sane group of people... well things do change I reckon.

[David DeCristoforo]

"...things do change I reckon..."

Are things really changing...? Or were you just deluding yourself to begin with?

[Roland Martin]

Sure, John K. thinks he's so smart. My 401K went into ORGANIC LAQUER FARMS, who's got the last laugh now. Won't be long before I can buy another chuck with proceeds from my investments! Chickens Scmickens, HA

[Dick Wilson]

What in the world have you been smoking David?? Your self portrait on your post sort of says it all. You look as though you live behind the uncertain curtain. Keep us posted as to the "progressive path of poultry pathology". Guys, it almost seems that we need to have an intervention take place here to help David out.

[Russ Denz]

David,
Since John seems to have cornered the chicken market aspect of this little venture, perhaps you could get in tough with the producers of Saturday Night Live to see if they accept submissions from freelance copy writers.

Oh, and by the way...isn't Schmaltz the name of the brewery where Laverne & Shirley worked???

In the meantime I'll continue to boil my wood (in water, thank you) in a turkey frier, then nuke it until it's fit for a sandwich.

[David DeCristoforo]

"...isn't Schmaltz the name of the brewery where Laverne & Shirley worked???"

Nope... that was the "Schotz" brewery.

"What in the world have you been smoking...it...seems that we need to have an intervention take place here.."

Well now, that's just great. Try to give something back and next thing you know guys in white coats are showing up on your doorstep. Your lack of gratitude is appalling. Next time I'm just keeping my discoveries to myself...

[Cathy Schaewe]

Next time I'm just keeping my discoveries to myself...

At least until after you buy up every chicken west of the mississippi....