Why don't you file a lawsuit on behalf of the neighbors claiming the tree is an eyesore and affecting their property values? I'm mean you went to all of that school, so why not put it to use? BTW, I get a chunk of that burl for thinking of such a devious plan!
What if you frame Keller for stealing the tree...act as his defense counsel...and use bowl blanks from the tree as payment!!!
Just call an arborist. He'll most likely say to cut it down. Split the cost of the removal and take some burls. Done and done. Oh my address is...................
There's nothing like a smooth running day in the shop.........at least at my house.