Stanley is right - pressure matters a lot. Adding pressure beyond a certain point doesn't speed up cutting much, but it certainly speeds up dishing.
Workflow/setup is also a big deal. While this may trigger snickers, the Veritas pond and a couple or
Norton IM83s proved to be useful investments for me. I do a fair bit of my honing in a "dry" carpeted home office these days and the mess is a nonissue. I just replace the water in the pond/cases every so often and that's about it.
This is another big hint that you're using grossly excessive pressure. I sharpen gouges/skews/etc and haven't gouged a waterstone in years. For a long time [*] my concave and slip waterstones were the ubiquitous Matsunagas (aka King), which are notoriously soft in the higher grits, and I didn't gouge those.
One related thought: The fact that waterstones continuously expose fresh/sharp grit means that they don't need as much pressure to cut as a well-used oilstone, all else being equal. It sounds to me as though oilstones work well for you at least in part because your sharpening technique is optimized for oilstones.
[*] I finally cut up and shaped a nearly-used-up set of Besters and a Sigma "hard" 1K to replace the Matsunagas. Slips are one place where "dishing" can be an epic pain because you eventually have to reshape instead of just flattening, and harder stones are preferable. I also have Ark slips for that reason.