I'm Looking For a Children's Forum

[John Hart]

I got nervous the other day.

Rachel said, "Daddy...is it ok if I talk to Amanda on rune-something-or-other.com?"
So I go through my standard..."Who is Amanda...what is rune-something-or-other"...you know...the standard questions just prior to a resounding "NO!"

Ends up...that it is a chat site....un monitored....group and private chat...anonymous logins......Sheesh! But her friend Amanda, age 12, is a chat room junkie. (Methinks her friend Amanda is out of control)

Anyway...This forced me to give the girls a real live scenario of what I fear most about chat rooms and little girls. And I made it scary......not enough to give nightmares....but scary enough for now.

They wanted to know if there was an alternative. And the only thing I could really think of, is a heavily moderated and monitored Forum for Children......only, I can't seem to find any.

Any ideas anyone?

[Bonnie Campbell]

If they just want to chat with each other, let her use yahoo, or gmail chat. Then it can be kept to one on one.

Also, if allowing ANY child to use a computer, PLEASE buy Big Brother to monitor what they are doing online. You might call it spying, but it saved my daughter from some nasty stuff by me monitoring her emails and every key stroke she made. She still doesn't know I had it on the computer to this day. She thinks she talked in her sleep

[Phyllis Meyer]

Hi!

We have two Daughters (ages 21 & 18). We had a computer (nothing fancy, just enough to do school work), while they were in their teen years. We wouldn't allow them to use the chat rooms...it is too scary out there in cyber-space! I will talk with them tonight and ask them about the "just talking with friends thing". It's something that you could actually help them add only the friends they want to talk with. Maybe someone else can offer their suggestions, (and mine is my personal opinion), but please be very careful because the so-called "Children's Forums" are where the nuts like to visit!

Sincerely,

Ron & Phyllis

[Lee DeRaud]

They wanted to know if there was an alternative. And the only thing I could really think of, is a heavily moderated and monitored Forum for Children......only, I can't seem to find any.

Let's think this through...
What if you did find one? How on earth would you go about validating the credentials of the moderator(s)?

[Jim Becker]

Here I sit with "the older" (age 11) next to me (home from school sick) and she's exploring kids.aol.com...with my supervision. Parental controls are a must and I'm trying hard to find something I like in that respect so I don't have to sit an watch over her shoulder...it's really hard to "work" when I have to do that. I really liked AOL's free parental controls...until I installed them and found out that unless my "Free membership" was dated prior to the beginning of August. Back to square one. Tried "NetNanny" but it's a pig on the computer I've set aside for the girls to use. I think we may just need to manually monitor for now...sheesh!

BTW, AOL's parental controls appear to allow you to have "closed" chat capablities that limit the who, what, when aspect so you have complete approval of the same. But I'm not aware of a "child only" chat system...then again, I haven't looked for one.

[Dan Oelke]

I'm a parent of a 10yo and 12yo. I do let my kids use pretty much unfiltered access to the net. I also keep computers in the main part of our house where myself or my wife can glance at the screen at any time.

Yes there are some pretty scary people on the net - and people have made up some even scarier stories. But there are pretty scary people walking down the street too. My approach has been to educate them about who and what is acceptable. They are not supposed to use any chat room without supervision. My daughter did try some chat rooms (with supervision) a couple of years ago and found them pretty boring so that hasn't been much of an issue for me.

They do use YahooIM as that is what I, their cousins, and classmates all use. They just know not to accept any invites from someone they don't know without mom/dad approval. And - they don't get unwanted invites for chats either - it has probably been a year since the last one came in. I like the IM tools better than the "chatrooms" - especially since they are limited to their friends and family for the most part.

My opinion is to watch and educate - but not smother the kids - they are growing up and will eventually need to deal with creeps when I can't protect them.

[Andy Hoyt]

Count your blessings that she asked you first.

No suggestions here, John. My daughter hated chat rooms when she was much younger and stayed away.

At 22, she still does; and I'm still counting mine.

[John Hart]

If they just want to chat with each other, let her use yahoo, or gmail chat. Then it can be kept to one on one.

Also, if allowing ANY child to use a computer, PLEASE buy Big Brother to monitor what they are doing online. You might call it spying, but it saved my daughter from some nasty stuff by me monitoring her emails and every key stroke she made. She still doesn't know I had it on the computer to this day. She thinks she talked in her sleep

I have nothing against spying on my kids. They have no rights.....only privileges that we grant to them. The software that I use, keeps an eye on things but I still like to start with something sites I can trust....then monitor anyway.

.....but please be very careful because the so-called "Children's Forums" are where the nuts like to visit!

yup...that's why I'm asking here....and then I'll have to research from there and interview the owners....check out the moderators....volunteer my own time.....etc.

Let's think this through...
What if you did find one? How on earth would you go about validating the credentials of the moderator(s)?

Sheesh...I don't know Lee. Maybe volunteer my own time maybe..offer moderator time....get involved in some way...dunno.

There's a Kids site (http://www.my.kidscom.com) that strives for education and has a chat room that is open only for certain hours because it is 100% monitored. Cost money (which is ok) but they have no forum. I like forums because the information is permanent.
I'm willing to let the kids do this....but I want to test the water first.

Here I sit with "the older" (age 11) next to me (home from school sick) and she's exploring kids.aol.com...with my supervision. Parental controls are a must and I'm trying hard to find something I like in that respect so I don't have to sit an watch over her shoulder...

You just reminded me....There's a Kid acronym in chat rooms it is "POS". Stands for "Parent Over Shoulder" It signals everyone to change the tone of the chat.

[Frank Chaffee]

Let's think this through...
What if you did find one? How on earth would you go about validating the credentials of the moderator(s)?

Sobering thought in today’s world.

…My opinion is to watch and educate - but not smother the kids - they are growing up and will eventually need to deal with creeps when I can't protect them.

Well put, Dan.

[Zahid Naqvi]

I haven't had to deal with chat rooms yet, my eldest son is 13. If he needs to talk to a friend he can pickup the phone and dial their number. We also don't permit any computers or TVs in kids' bedrooms, everything is in the family room. He plays runescape (John I think that's what your kid must be referring to) it's an online game a lot of his friends play, the game allows players to open up chat windows while on-line. All the friends know each others' user IDs and I know all his friends and their parents personally.

I think keeping the computer in the living room goes a long way in terms of monitoring, and keeping the gaming time limited to weekends and not more than an hour at a time pretty much makes sure they maximize their liberty. Then again he wants a new computer now because he has forfeited a couple of presents (including a birthday) to save up for a computer.

The SBC browser is great for surfing, I haven't explored their on-line chat monitoring yet. You do have to get rid of MS Explorer from your PC, yes it can be done but you have to buy a $30 software to do so.

I probably didn't answer your question but hopefully added some value in my blabberings.

[John Hart]

...
My opinion is to watch and educate - but not smother the kids - they are growing up and will eventually need to deal with creeps when I can't protect them.

Yup...that's the real trick isn't it. I took lots of risks when I was a kid and somehow survived. I don't want to smother. Just don't want to be stupid. Too Late!

[John Hart]

Count your blessings that she asked you first.
.....

yeah...but you know as well as I do....Enough "no's" and they'll stop asking.

[John Hart]

If he needs to talk to a friend he can pickup the phone and dial their number. We also don't permit any computers or TVs in kids' bedrooms, everything is in the family room. He plays runescape (John I think that's what your kid must be referring to) it's an online game a lot of his friends play, the game allows players to open up chat windows while on-line. All the friends know each others' user IDs and I know all his friends and their parents personally....

I agree...what's the point in chatting with someone who lives 2 miles away? I guess I understand....it's fun. I guess that's what I'm doing right now. Hmmm

This runescape.com thing has me a bit worried though. No parental controls...open chat....private chat...maidens in distress....knights in shining armor......Horses. Just sounds wrong. I don't know any facts yet though.

[John Shuk]

Perhaps you could try a watchdog site. PervertedJustice.com comes to mind since they are the ones who go after the predators on NBC. Maybe they have researched this stuff.
John

[Mark Cothren]

John, I don't know of any "safe" virtual locations for kids... sorry.

My 14-yr old nephew is a msn/chat junkie... one thing my BIL and SIL do is keep the computer in the family room with the monitor in open view. They also have a "rule" that they can view/read his windows at any time. If he shuts anything down before they can see it? Automatic suspension of computer privileges.

My son is 16 and rarely gets on the computer except for school work. He'd rather be in the woods, or watching somebody else in the woods on TV...;-)

Unfortunately you can't protect your kids from everybody and/or everything... but we sure gotta try.

When Al Gore invented the internet he should have at the same time configured it to automatically and electrically zap any pervert/predator.