Instant Messaging

[Todd Burch]

My 13 year old wants to be able to instant message with his buddies. I know nothing about instant messaging. Could someone give me the summary? If I sign up for one, like AOL - can it cross-over to any other services - like MSN? What about privacy? We use road runner for our internet connection and my business web hosting service for email accounts (so I can add another email account to either roadrunner or my business account).

Thanks, Todd.

[Chuck Wintle]

I use MSN messenger which works well. You need to get a hotmail account to sign up for MSN.

[Jim Becker]

There are a bunch of IM systems available (AOL, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ, etc.)...I happen to use AOL's IM system because my co-workers do. There may or may not be the ability to message between different systems, however..."standards" are, well...what they are...and the various providers are also very "competitive".

Privacy CAN be an issue. For example. when you first install AIM (AOL IM), it will automatically make it's server(s) "trusted" in your browser...that's not a good thing. And then there is the ability to pass files, etc., which could potentially compromise your system via viruses and trojans. (The bad guys are starting to pay more attention to IM due to it's quick growth) It's possible for someone to pass an executable, too. Running both a hardware and software firewall is a really good idea...especially if the latter will tell you that something is trying to access the Internet without your permission. (ZoneAlarm does that, for example) IM systems often stuff advertising at you, too. I find that quite annoying, but it can be controlled to a certain point with a program like PestPatrol or AdAware.

Lastly, and most importantly, there is also the issue of preditors...something to consider when you're allowing a young person access. It's important that you monitor activities and "who" is messaging and being messaged. That does cause a privacy issue for your child, but you probably set the rules in your house and should do what you feel is best for him/her/them. You be the parent!

Are you having fun yet??

[Don Abele]

Todd, Jim really gives you a lot of the main points. Being in the military and moving a lot, I use instant messengers all the time to stay in contact with friends and family. I have used pretty much all of them, and still do use quite a few. Why? Well, this is the question you need to answer so you know what's right for your son. The major IM's are not cross compatible. That is, MSN will not work with Yahoo which won't work with AOL (by the way, those are the top three). So find out what your boys friends are using and go with that one. I use many of them because certain friends/family only use that particular one and won't switch.

As for privacy and security, a good hardware AND software firewall is a must. Of course these will only protect your computers. My biggest concern for my kids, and if I may pass it on to you, is like Jim also spoke of - predators. It's sad to think about, but a very real and very scary reality. IM's, just like chat rooms are open to the world. My 9 year old is not allowed on the internet unsupervised. Just a word of caution.

With that said, and to end on a positive note, they are wonderful tools and enjoyable to use.

Be well,

Doc

[Kevin Murdock]

Hey Todd,

Think of instant messenger just like email, only faster (instant!).

Each system is on it's own defined protocol. So MSN doesn't talk to AOL which doesn't talk to Yahoo, etc. But there are applications from 3rd parties which are free that you can use that talks most all the "languages". My wife uses Trillian and really likes it. Helps a lot since friends and family all seem to be on different systems.

The same rules apply both socially (with respect to parental controls) and technically.

Socially first. Folks can sent messages, photos, and files via instant messenger just like email, but it's live. So IMHO, it's no more threatening to allow him to use an IM than any other forum. I guess that the only additional caveat is that one can surf chat rooms with IM programs. That's where the idea of meeting strangers comes into play. But if you just have him create a "buddy list" as it's called with all of his friends and setup the application to not allow unknown users to chat, then all should be fine. As always, open discussion and a little checkup now and then will help.

On the technical side, the data that you send is not encrypted so in theory yes others can view it. But the same is true for regular email. Regular email (smtp as its called) is sent free and clear. But unless someone is sending sensitive data all is well. So it's good to keep this in mind.

Let me know if you have any specific concerns or questions.

Hope this helps,
/Kevin

[Brad Schafer]

you might also consider a generic (comprehensive?) chat client like Trillian (www.ceruleanstudios.com i think). it can speak multiple chat protocols.

while it won't let you use an IM account to talk to ICQ, it eliminates the need to install multiple pieces of chat client software on your machine.

options,


b

[Rob Glynn]

ICQ works for me and there is now a "Lite" version that gets rid of the bells and whistles that are rarely used. It not only allows for messages but can be used for real time chat.
If you set up a message programme for a 13 year old you had better be prepared to monitor the usage. These programmes survive on advert revenue and the services advertised may not be suitable.

[Dan Bussiere]

Todd,
My 16 year old son uses AOL Intant Messanger (IM) regularly and according to him it is the only one that the other kids use. I guess it depends on the group of kids they are messaging with. I don't believe you can IM from AOL into other IM formats. I have spent alot of time ensuring he knows the rules of the road for internet use and still check on him regularly. I think it is safe if your child is level headed, and you don't stop checking up and asking questions. There are predators out there, but that is the case even when our kids walk the streets. Prepare him or her well, and "Trust but Verify". Good luck!
Dan

[Todd Burch]

Thanks for all the good advice y'all. I set him up with an AOL IM account, and used your suggestions about only letting people on his buddy list talk to him, etc. Also, no personal information was added.

He is loving it! He is so excited to get to chat with his friends. He's a pretty good kid and knows I'll be checking up on him regularly. However, at the same time, I do want to give him some "space", allowing him to spread his wings a little bit.

I have another question. With AIM, can it be set up like our Saw Mill Creek chat room so that he doesn't have to have 3 sessions going on at once to talk to 3 people?

Todd.

[Noah Alkinburgh]

I have another question. With AIM, can it be set up like our Saw Mill Creek chat room so that he doesn't have to have 3 sessions going on at once to talk to 3 people?

Todd.

Todd,

It has been a while since I used the real AIM client, but I do believe there is a "chat" feature which would allow this. There was at one time, but who knows. Often you can click and drag a buddy into an already existing window and violla you have three people in chat (you and two others). Another option would be to get the program Brad mentioned called Trillian, or there is another one called GAIM. These programs are mult-protocol (they can chat on all the IM services) and as an added bonus to you, you can get in the SMC chat room with it too

Noah

[Mike Evertsen]

Thanks for all the good advice y'all. I set him up with an AOL IM account, and used your suggestions about only letting people on his buddy list talk to him, etc. Also, no personal information was added.

He is loving it! He is so excited to get to chat with his friends. He's a pretty good kid and knows I'll be checking up on him regularly. However, at the same time, I do want to give him some "space", allowing him to spread his wings a little bit.

I have another question. With AIM, can it be set up like our Saw Mill Creek chat room so that he doesn't have to have 3 sessions going on at once to talk to 3 people?

Todd.

on the bottom of the aim screen is a chat button,,,,,

[Stewart Crick]

Todd,

This is my first post here, so forgive me if I violate some unknown SMC protocol. Anyway, if and when you become an IM junkie. There's a product called Trillian Pro (current version is 2.0) that allows you to IM with anyone regardless of which IM service they're using. I'm able to IM with my friends on AOL, Yahoo, ICQ, IRC, and MSN. Their URL is:

http://www.ceruleanstudios.com

Stu

[Todd Burch]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I set him up with AIM, and he's been IM'ing for some time now. He loves it. Only poblem is that now I don't get as much screen time!! (However, I do pull rank occasionally )

[Mike Evertsen]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I set him up with AIM, and he's been IM'ing for some time now. He loves it. Only poblem is that now I don't get as much screen time!! (However, I do pull rank occasionally )

in a few years he'll want the car keys then you'll have the computer back,,,,