How the stock market really works - humor

[Mitchell Andrus]

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern
society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village
should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather
man responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it
going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It's definitely
going to be a very cold winter.'

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' The Man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters
ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'


This is how stock market works !
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[Dick Latshaw]

That is FUNNY...and with more than a little truth to it.

[Dennis Peacock]

Too funny...!!!!!!!

[Michael Weber]

Love it

[Rich Stewart]

That's a good one.

[Ben Rafael]

Too accurate!

Like the old joke:

The Dow is dropping on news that the Dow is dropping.

[Paul Downes]

I've heard another version of that joke; A white man asked an old Indian medicine man if the winter was going to be cold. The old Indian replied "yes, very cold" After the white man left a young brave asked the Old Indian how he knew the winter was going to be cold and the old man replied " winter going to be plenty cold, white man cutting lots of wood"

[Lee Schierer]

Anotehr version:

Every day the switch board operator at town hall got a call just before noon asking the correct time. Dutifully she would tell the caller the time. After many years of this, the caller finally asked what the source of correct time was being used by the town. The operator responded, Oh, we set the clock every day to the noon whistle, why do you ask. The caller responded, I'm the person that blows the noon whistle.....

[Dave Mura]

HAHAHA great stuff!!

[Chris Padilla]

Ponzi scheme anyone? hahaha

[Jeffrey Makiel]

This is my understanding...

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

-Jeff