First off, let me be VERY CLEAR on this--I have nothing against FedEx in this post, they made a simple mistake that others made much worse.

Friday evening, my wife informed me that FedEx's website had declared her order "delivered on porch at 5:21 PM, no delivery confirmation needed". Well, there was no package on our porch. Just then it dawned on me that I was coming down our street at exactly that time, and the FedEx truck was parked a few houses north of us, in front of the home of people that, well, you wouldn't expect to ever order anything. So my wife goes down there to see if the package was mis-delivered. The people say that they had not received our package. Then my wife gets on the phone with FedEx, gives them the appropriate info, which they say they will have the driver investigate the next day (Saturday). Saturday morning, I receive a call from the driver who starts describing my house in fairly vague terms (that all fit)--up until she said that she opened the door to the porch to leave the package. The problem, I tell her, is that my porch doesn't have a door. She says she'll try to reclaim the package, and it could be 5PM before she gets there.

I get on with my day, helping a friend do the rear brakes, wheel cylinders and an axle seal on his pickup (another adventure in its own right). While on one of our several trips to town for parts, my wife calls me to say that the FedEx driver was at our house, the "neighbors" had refused to give the package back, and, to top it off, while the drive was talking to the "neighbor", their dog BIT HER IN THE FACE. Fortunately, the bite wasn't bad, just a small poke below the corner of her mouth. So my wife called the police for the driver. Not long after that, my wife calls me again to tell me the "neighbor's" son had brought the package down to our house, open, but with nothing missing. A few minutes after I got home, the driver said she couldn't wait for the police anymore (it had been 45 minutes or so), so she left her information with us and got on her way. Well, the police and animal control eventually showed up, so we had an interesting conversation before they went down to the "neighbor's." The officer was familiar with the address, not through personal experience, but I presume through locker-room talk. There were several good screaming matches I heard this summer from our "neighbors" (four houses away, mind you), at least one of which was accompanied by several sets of red and blue lights.

The officer told me that they're pretty sure that household has a police scanner, and that's why we got the package shortly after my wife called the police--and the call was dispatched on police radio. I told the officer that we got our package, so we're fine and don't want to press any charges, but that we couldn't speak for the FedEx driver. He said there's a potential felony involved since the package was opened. I don't need hillbilly neighbors ticked at me. Halloween is coming, you know. I don't know what happened after the police left my house to go to theirs, so I'm waiting for it to show up in the police blotter of the local paper. I'm sure I'll eventually find out because our "neighbors" live next door to some good friends of ours.

I ended up feeling real bad for the FedEx driver because she made a simple mistake (hey, don't we all?), and it got kind of ugly. Nothing against FedEx, in fact, kudos to them for correcting their error quickly. Thumbs down to my "neighbors" for their anti-social behavior.