Let's talk about horrible restaurant behavior. LOL...this should be fun. As a rule, my wife and I don't go out to eat anymore, but some time ago we were both very busy and would go out to eat almost every day. We saw every manner of bad behavior I could ever care to see.
Waiters that bring everything out at the same time. No, I really don't want my bread, appetizer, salad and meal all at the same time. Yeah, I know you want your tip NOW. Go away and let me enjoy my meal. It may not be their fault the first or second time it happens. By the third time, they should know what the timing of the kitchen is and take steps to fix it. We now order our appetizer first, should we want one. When we're good and ready, we'll order a meal. Someone has to train these people. I know they're in business to make money. There are plenty of restaurants that treat their patrons well and still make money...maybe they should get into a different business if they can't cut it.
And NO, I'm not still working on that. I'm not digging a hole through my meal, repaving my steak, or even painting my vegetables. I don't "work" on my food.
If you would pay attention, I will let you know when I'm done by the correct placement of my silverware. Of course, you guys are training an entire generation to NOT know how to communicate efficiently with their waiters because regardless of how I place my silverware, you come over to me and ask, "Are you still working on that?", to which I respond "No" and you immediately take my silverware off the plate and put it back down on the table, dirtying the table and dirtying my silverware.
I don't care if you don't write down my order. Really....do it however you have to. When it gets botched up and I send it back (not a big deal...mistakes happen) I expect someone back there to prepare the meal properly, not take a knife and scrape off the lettuce and tomato, as well as any sauce and other things that DO belong, and put a soggy, mushed up piece of bread back on my meal. *I* could have done that. What I can't do is re-prepare the bun properly so that it has all the good bits, and none of the bad bits. Get a new bun and get to work. Seriously, I don't want to be here all day sending food back, and you don't want to be serving me all day, so just take an extra 20 seconds and do it right, OK?
And for all you Chinese/Mexican/Thai (especially Thai) restaurants: learn what extra spicy means. Don't give me a scale from one to five when you can't deliver a five (you know, the one with the red letters and a picture of the devil himself in flames?). Seriously....5 should scorch my mouth. I know the game so I order a 6. Sometimes I tell you that if it doesn't make me cry, I won't be happy. What do you bring me? I dunno...when my wife takes a big mouthful and says, "tastes mild to me", we have a serious problem. Cut the nonsense. If you can't do it, say so. It's things like this that you get two chances to get right, and then I never go back.
I don't care if you're wearing shorts, a silly hat and speak with a fake Australian accent - don't ever schooch my wife over and sit down at our booth while taking our order. Yes, that seriously happened to me and I was not amused.
Good heavens, it's so nice to walk into the handful of restaurants we still go to, and just have a decent, quiet meal. No talking moose. No bells ringing when someone orders fajitas. No items with the words Poppin', Bloomin', Flamin' or Sizzlin' in the name. A nice polite waiter or waitress. The food shows up. There's a little something wrong here and there. Whatever. It's all pleasant and there's no reason to say anything. Every now and then, someone refills my wine. We pay and dat's dat. This is sooooo much less work and aggravation for everyone involved. I'm not surprised that the ones we tend to go to have been around for many years, and the aggravating ones (often chains) seem to come and go every couple of years.