Update- I'M GOING TO HANDWORKS!!!!!! I called my brother in Kansas City, MO, and told him he should go if it's not too far. (I have zero comprehension of northern US geography.). Turns out it's only 4 hours from there, and 3 from his farmhouse. He offered to loan me his CJ7 (he wanted to loan the Suburban, but the CJ is more my style). I have created a Facebook page called "Going to Handworks 2017." It is searchable publicly, but you must join the group to se posts. That way if you want to tell your significant other you are going on a "business trip," you can post in the group and they won't know that your "business trip" is really going to give toolmakers your business.
Thanks for for the suggestion. This will be fun.