Creeker Visit~La Crosse, WI

[Scott Raasch]

Just to add my $.02: I've lurked here for quite a while - don't post much. But what a great bunch of guys! Fantastic time, great food, and the antique tool store was quite an experience. Thanks for the memories... (which might lead to a night-mare or two about Tyler and the thong thing - shudder).

[Frank Chaffee]

Good,
I see that Pesh and Cousin John have paddled and portaged their way home now from the Great Cheese Festival of Ribs and Taunts. I was waiting for Pesh to log on to the Creek before posting this fair, complete, and honest portrayal of what happened when we were finally face to face.

To make this more fun for the rest of you however, I offer two versions of the event, trusting that you will easily see the correct and true one.

• Frank spends the evening basking in the warm and pleasing glow cast by the brilliant and penetrating light of Pesh’s intelligence, and at the end of the gathering swears that he will get a haircut and a real job.
• Pesh is so deeply moved by the absurdly inane wit continually spewing from Frank’s slobbering lips, that he falls to his knees and begs for it to stop, even going so far as to offer to wear a Molly Ivins mask for his upcoming new avatar.

This is an easy one folks.
Frank

[John Miliunas]

• Frank spends the evening basking in the warm and pleasing glow cast by the brilliant and penetrating light of Pesh’s intelligence, and at the end of the gathering swears that he will get a haircut and a real job.
• Pesh is so deeply moved by the absurdly inane wit continually spewing from Frank’s slobbering lips, that he falls to his knees and begs for it to stop, even going so far as to offer to wear a Molly Ivins mask for his upcoming new avatar.

This is an easy one folks.
Frank

Well, from what I could tell, neither of those situations would be highly accurate, though what the heck do I know??? ....I left the room when they started batting quantum theory around!!! Last I heard, I think the score was 3 to 3!

[Jim Becker]

Oh, man...I thought I'd never see Grumbine caught in such, umm...well...you know...accessories in-hand...
----

Looks like a fine time, boys and girls! These get-togethers are always worth it.

[John Miliunas]

Oh, man...I thought I'd never see Grumbine caught in such, umm...well...you know...accessories in-hand...
----

Truth be told, Jim, I didn't either! I figured he may not go along with all this silliness but, I was very pleasantly surprised! Bill just rolled with the punches, putting his intelligence and upstanding demeanor on "hold" and just joined in the fun even if the cost was at his expense! My compliments to Bill!!! Well done!

[Tyler Howell]

Oh, man...I thought I'd never see Grumbine caught in such, umm...well...you know...accessories in-hand...
----

Looks like a fine time, boys and girls! These get-togethers are always worth it.

Rumor has it there's a picture of the big guy and a Tutu
Any of you long timers got a copy

[Dale Thompson]

Hi Folks,
It was a long paddle UPSTREAM and I'm really tired and old. I will attempt to gather my thoughts and provide some minimal input before the breeze blows into my left ear and exits them from my right ear. EGADS!! What are my thoughts? I've totally lost the last couple of days! Stay tuned - they may come back!

Dale T.

[Frank Chaffee]

Tyler,
Tyler, Tyler; Sir, I cannot thank you enough for the time and thoughtful attention to the fun details that helped make this gathering so enjoyable for us Cheese! It is no wonder to me that you are a Manager, and I am very sure that the people who work for you have the best opportunity and encouragement to live their lives to the fullest. From simply being around you I lost all desire to pummel anyone, especially a certain individual from you-know-where (hint: he lives in a town that once burned to the ground and begins with P, E, S, H). Being around you, I felt like a team member, working and celebrating with great people willing to understand other’s travails, offer helpful insights, and generally bs and babble, like a good flowing Creek. Thanks Tyler, yer tops in my book.

Thanks to the several donators of awesome door prizes, too!

Mr. Bill Grumbine, I had already known from reading your posts that you are a man of stature (and I am not referring to your grizzly bear size), but to be in your presence and experience the weight and strength of the words you spoke was a profoundly moving experience for me. I can only imagine that you have honed and focused your attention to what is real for so long that you could no more lie than the forest or mountain could. Pretty nice bowls too, and don’t be surprised if I travel to a week long seminar of yours in a couple years when I get a lathe. Good to meet you Bill.

Joe Breid, it was a pleasure to meet you. While we were far from one another at the dinner table, I’m glad we had a chance to talk one on one afterwards. I’m glad to hear that your children are old enough now that you can spend some of your time on woodworking, and I really look forward to seeing pics of the built-in bookcases you are building now. Best wishes!

Erin, it was cool to finally meet you in person, and Scott, I enjoyed learning of more of your collector’s passions, especially the neander ones. I had already perused the website where you offer the tour of your nice church cum home with garden and pool, and I look forward to visiting you there, and soon, I hope.

Karl, I would gladly have rendered that full dollar to you, no change required, for the grand tour of your beautiful new abode. All the skill, care and attention you gave your house building process will surely pay off in a space tuned exactly to your needs. I also thank you for chauffeuring me to and from LaCrosse, allowing me to recline and watch the early spring scenery scroll by. I really enjoyed hanging out with you all day, Karl. Next I wanna visit when that X-31 is chopping wood!!!

John, gosh guy what can I say? You introduced me to the Creek, which, last I checked my logs, I visit more than my liberal propaganda news sites and those *other* sites as well. You have been an inspiration and a friend to me for many years, and I look forward to many more!

Cousin John, Wow guy, you have more experience making woodworking tooling, especially custom cutter grinding, than anybody I have ever read! Please John, hang out here at the Creek and share your extensive knowledge!!! Also, next time you are headed back to the Bay Area, let me know in case I am planning to be there then too, as I’m sure you gould show me some of the coolest woodworking going on there. Take care John.

Well, something I learned from my daddy is to save the best for last, so now I address Pesh, aka Dale T. Dale, while I knew that a Creeker gathering was bound to be a lot of fun, had I not known you would be there, I probably would not have gone to the trouble of showering and leaving these quiet woods for a full day. As I don’t have a television for entertainment, I rely on the Creek for more than woodworking advice, and I gotta say Dale, that good as it is, the Hart/Hoyt/DeRaud/McM/Hawes show would not be enough for me with out Pesh hour every now and again to look forward to. …Oh jeeze, now I guess I have to admit that I’ve been trying to keep this light-hearted not only because I know how embarrassed you get when you blush, and I would like to spare you that in public, but because I have a really hard time typing went tears are flowing from my eyes. There, I have as much as said it; DALE, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

Oh gosh,
I gotta go.
Bye,
Frank

[Dale Thompson]

EGADS! I'm forgotten ALREADY!? Oh well. It's the story of my life. Anyway, you have seen the above excuses, pandering and cover-ups of what REALLY happened over in LaCrosse on CHEESE Friday, April 21, 2006. Someone has to "bite the bullet" and tell it like it REALLY was! You all know that you can trust me to do just that. You are all SOOO lucky to have found that ONE honest man!! There may be more than one part to this post because I will run out of “Smilies” and that would be a disaster with THIS bunch!

Incidentally, there is NOTHING humorous in this post. I don’t want Andy to start spewing a twin-nasal stream of banana cream, strawberry delight, chocolate swirl, crème de crème soft serve Pecan Heaven ice cream all over the streets of Benton Falls. With his many faces, each having two nostrils, he could decimate the streets of the largest metropolitan areas in the entire country. In addition, I don’t want “Purty” Clardy to spill yet ANOTHER cup of coffee. “Purty” may write it off as a reaction to humor. In MY part of the country, we refer to it as being a TOTAL klutz! If a Norwegian up here spills a cup of that precious brew, he/she is taken out and SHOT!!

NOW! These are the facts:
Mr. Bill Grumbine was our featured guest. His visit to the Midwest was instrumental in inspiring the meeting in LaCrosse. We ALL thank you, Bill!

Anyway, my first reaction to meeting Bill was quite simple. If I have an argument with my neighbor, I want Mr. Grumbine to be on MY side of the fence. As is SO typical of men of his stature and status, I found him to be most friendly, gracious, soft-spoken and a downright NICE guy. He also graced us with several examples of his genius. From a distance of at least ten feet, I could FEEL the warmth and character of the two beautiful Walnut bowls that he showed us. In addition, his bark-edged platter with the concave surface designed to accept the complementing bowl was a true museum artifact. Although I have never made a mistake on MY lathe, I will NEVER turn one of those platters. If my first mistake SHOULD happen, I would lose my knuckles all the way up to my elbows!!

I was also fortunate enough to secure Bill’s DVD. Not only that but he personally autographed it with the words, “ Happy Turning, Dale; Bill Grumbine”. With that said, I am still trying to interpret his P.S. which reads, “Yeah Right!! HA HA HA!!”. Can anyone help?

Thanks again, Bill!!!

Next, if Jackie and Keith could have chosen a group to represent THE CREEK before a TRUE professional, I’m quite sure that our bunch would NOT have been in the upper echelons of their preferences. Let’s face it! If there is an UPPER 10%, there must be, by definition, a LOWER 10%. Well – what can I say??

On the positive side – and there are a FEW – let’s stand back and applaud the masterful work of our friend and hero, Mr. Tyler Howell!!! If there is a finer host on the face of this planet, I have yet to meet him/her!! If you want to see a personality that lights up an entire room, you have only to invite Mr. Tyler Howell. If you want to be friends with an incredibly NICE human being, put Mr. Howell at the very TOP of your list!!

Out of pure respect, I will never again refer to Mr. Howell as “Howl” – at least until the end of this post!!

Mr. Howell had a “gift bag” for each of us as we entered the site of the festivities! This bag contained several handy shop items, an item that I will discuss later, and a couple of Woodworking Magazines that are out of the reach of my meager tool budget. In addition, my bag contained a STATE-OF-THE-ART personal stereo system! Not only that, but Mr. Howell had coerced a number of high end “Door Prizes” from various vendors and individuals. This was a raffle sort of thing where we all put our names and other intimate information on a slip of paper and deposited them into a “sealed” box for later drawing. I felt rather privileged when Tyler demanded my presence from the “Cigar Lounge” to be the first to deposit my lottery slip into the box. I naturally assumed that I was sort of a special guest or something. In retrospect, I clearly recall that it was only AFTER my deposit that he replaced the bottom of the supposedly “sealed” box! For some reason, I didn’t do real well in the drawing.!

Lastly on Mr. Howell, I distinctly recall that my “gift bag” was the ONLY one with a nametag on it. I now think that there was a reason for this?! For all of the gentlemen who were not accompanied by their wives, I feel that there may be a great many legal issues regarding divorce proceedings as a direct result of their “LaCrosse Fling”. Therefore, I have wisely shortened the name of Mr. Howell’s last gift to all of you. For litigation purposes, I have named it the “Five Ts”. As all of you attendees know, this stands for, “Tyler’s Tiny Tidbits of Titillating Tapestry”. MY gift was quite different!

As prior pictures will show, I was not a recipient of ANY of the beautiful array of mini attire with their beautiful shades of blue, green, red and pastels of purple, hazel, earth-tones and other shades of color leading to the oldest example of human weakness.

With MY gift, I should have tipped the Doorman just a bit MORE when I entered. When I asked the petite young lady at the Reception Desk if she would accept MY gift as a part of her tip, she, at a muscular 110 pounds, threw me like a javelin toward the front door. The Doorman was just a fraction of a second slow on opening the door. For a while, my chiseled, handsome features will be a bit rounded and discolored. No sweat! I heal fast!

To identify my “Five Ts” gift, I have contacted a number of my friends who are generally recognized as the top fashion designers in the world. After copious research, they generally agree that Mr. Howell “flattered” me with a HORSE DIAPER!! For those of you who may be “equestrian-challenged”, a HORSE DIAPER is normally used to prevent their “droppings” from introducing “invasive plant species” to new areas when they are ridden remotely to their home territory. As the eternal optimist, I am anxiously waiting for Mr. Howell to forward the horse that was bred uniquely to fit my prized HORSE DIAPER!

Thank you, Tyler Howell, you are indeed one of the REALLY good guys!! They broke the mold, babe!

One of the unfortunate parts of any banquet type setting is that we spend the majority of our time talking to those who are seated most closely to us. Joe, Scott and Erin were fortunate enough to be seated more toward the “celebrity” end of the table. With their locations, they may still LIKE me! I did my best to insult everyone but, in their case, my efforts may have fallen on deaf ears due to their remote location.

I seem to recall Scott talking about “collectibles”. The only thing that I could contribute was my baseball card collection. Unfortunately, they have no value unless you remember the old Stone Age International Baseball Conference (SAIBC). I have the card of when Tyrannosaurus Rex hit nine home runs in the first inning against the Montana Tar Pits. He would have had ten except that future all-star Pterodactyl Terry made a spectacular diving catch at 6000 feet! I have NO credibility with ebay!?

I apologize for not having spent more time with you folks but I can now identify a post or a picture with a “real” person. That, in itself, is VERY rewarding!

On a scale of 1 to 10, “Dells” was, at a 5, by FAR the most professional and mature of all of us “regional” attendees. I think that he controlled himself because he knew that he was responsible for taking the “family” pictures as the evening progressed. He handled it well!!

I must say that he turned very pale when John and I walked into the room. It was as if he were seeing a couple of ghosts. As luck would have it, I checked with Homeland Security before I launched our craft for the second half of our trip. The Officer told me that a couple of locals had spotted a handsome young man counting a “mountain” of round objects and repeating the words, “GOTTA GET PESH! – GOTTA GET PESH!! – GOTTA GET PESH!!!”.

The Officer claimed that this gentleman had heavily mined the upper portion of the Mississippi River from its headwaters in Minnesota to its harbors in LaCrosse. You would not have believed the disgusted look on “Dells” face when I broke the news to him that “magnetic” mines do NOT work on birch bark.

“Dells”. May I say that the pleasure was all mine? Well – IT WAS!!

Whenever I find myself in a “Banquet” type situation, no matter how large or how small, I always notice that the last three seats to be taken are the ones to my immediate left, my immediate right and directly across from me. Without exception, these seats are either claimed by the “bottom feeders” or the late arrivals. In the case of the LaCrosse meeting, the former description would be far more descriptive than would the latter.

“Spring” ended up on my right. WE FINALLY GOT TO MEET EACH OTHER!! Although we have laughed a lot together and shed a few tears together over the past several years, it was GREAT to PERSONALLY meet a true FRIEND!! As usual, I asked him what the acronym TI, IT, PI, IP or whatever, means and what those people do?! As usual, he explained it to me in terms that may have just as well been expressed to me by a two-year old reading the Rosetta Stone. AW! No problem! I’ll ask him again – and – again – and AGAIN! Is there a communication problem here??

Whatever, I want you ALL to know that “Spring” is FAR more handsome than his avatar picture would indicate! All things considered, however, his avatar picture should NEVER have been allowed to invade the “digital age” in the first place. Making matters even worse, is the fact that that picture was allowed to escape the “delete” button on the camera. Here, folks, is a cyber-space crime of potentially catastrophic proportions.

“Spring”, you are my FRIEND and I am a better person because of that privilege!

Cousin John ended up across the table from me. I did not talk to him at all. I still have him in quarantine for all of the “stuff” that thrives in the Golden State. Perhaps I should have told you this BEFORE the meeting!! He LOVED his “5 Ts” gift. It is obvious that I will have to extend his quarantine. For those of you who may have had the misfortune of talking to John, you will certainly understand my pain. Can you imagine spending nine hours in an enclosed vehicle with a person whose non-sensible babble makes the wings of a Hummingbird look like they are on STOP!?

John. Blood may be thicker than water but only to a POINT!!

Seated immediately to my left was the most fortunate person on the face of the planet. I was there for him! Even as he was the first to greet John and I with his majestic smile and warm hug, I could tell that “Arena” was searching for something. He was somehow searching for a fulfillment that he had never achieved. In a scenario similar to that of Jonah, he had been swallowed into the dark belly of the whale called Liberalism. He was looking for a light! ANY light! And there I was. “Arena” is TRULY blessed! With fifteen minutes of my incredible counsel, I could already see a relaxation of his stress and a brighter glint to his eyes.

Any minute now, as the brilliance of my incredible wisdom continues to permeate his thoughts, “Arena’s” eyes will be fully opened and he will see the light of truth, right and the American Way!! When that happens, “Arena” will be on my “Short List” to give the Keynote Address at the next Republican National Conventional. WOW! He is SO fortunate to have met me!

As with any friendship, compromise is a required ingredient. I felt compelled to comply with this rule. Among my countless virtues, LOYALTY ranks at the very top! With respect to “Arena”, however, I felt that I must sacrifice this most precious of all virtues. Besides that, "Arena's" sales acumen is irresistable!! Without a doubt he could sell long underwear and wool blankets to an Eskimo, pasta to an Italian and sunscreen to a Floridian!! Therefore, with much regret, I agreed to BETRAY mine of over twenty years and switch to “Arena’s” BARBER. What more can I do to assure a lasting friendship?

Love ya, man!!

Dale T.

PS. Thanks again to ALL for making this trip such a GREAT joy for both John and I!! The pics below contain already familiar faces so I won't duplicate the names.

[Aaron Koehl]

It sounds like you all had a great time-- wish it could have been closer! (Alas)

[Frank Chaffee]

When I first greeted Dale on his arrival, and he put his hand to his heart, fell to his knees, and addressed me with sublime words of respect, referring I’m sure to my royal deportment.

“Sir Real!”, he uttered before collapsing completely.

[John Miliunas]

When I first greeted Dale on his arrival, and he put his hand to his heart, fell to his knees, and addressed me with sublime words of.....

"...........Dang it. I know I brought them with. Now, where did I drop those scissors????"

[Bill Grumbine]

Hey everyone! I just walked in the door from my trip to WI. Unfortunately, one of my bags is still riding the train. Other than that, it was a wonderful trip, and I really enjoyed the night out with my fellow Creekers. It was a real treat to meet each one of you. Dinner was wonderful, but the closest I came to seeing any real cheese was on Dale's head! And speaking of headgear, all I have to say is that I won't be wearing that one in the picture very often.

I met a whole bunch of wonderful people, and as I have said so many times in the past, anyone reading this who has the opportunity to meet some of your fellow forum participants would do well to make use of it.

I would write more, but my eyes are going funny.

Bill

[John Miliunas]

I would write more, but my eyes are going funny.

Bill

Bill, take off the headgear!!! It's cutting off circulation!!! Thanks again for giving us some of your time. It was indeed a pleasure!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Folks...........as I read this thread I am in total envy! What a fantastic time that had to be ......meeting, eating and spending an evening together!.............Congrats!