The first thing is to think about noise in two categories:
1) airborne (music, voices, power tool motors, etc)
2) impact (hand tool work with a mallet, moving material around, bumping into walls, vibration from tools affixed to the wall, etc)
Airborne noise is solved with soft/absorbent materials such as roxul batting in the walls, carpet, those foam egg crate things on the wall and ceiling surfaces, etc. It's also mitigated by using less noisy tools of course.
Impact noise is much harder- it's vibrations passing through the structure. So the key is to isolate the surfaces you impact from the structure. This can be hard because drywall screws go into studs drywall and baseboard trim touches the floor and ceiling, etc. All of those physical connections transfer vibrations through your structure, which is what your neighbors hear.
So from my research, here are some things to consider:
- to strip your walls, floor, and ceiling down to the framing,
- install roxul between the studs and joists,
- re-sheeth the floor with plywood but apply sound deadening adhesive to the floor joists before laying down the ply,
- install two layers of accoustic drywall to the walls and ceilings using special sound deadening adhesive between them and making sure not to allow the walls to touch the floor or the ceiling (leave a gap), and using a clip and channel system called resilient channel, which physically isolates the drywall fasteners from the framing structure, caulk the gaps between the walls and ceilings with acoustic caulk to close the gaps.
- do not use hard surface flooring- install a nice thick carpet pad and carpet in the room. Will be a pain to clean, but probably better than dealing with angry neighbors or your HOA
- You could also leave the current framing in place and build a room within a room... although that room is already pretty small
I did this research when I lived in condo. I hated the disputes with my neighbors, and I didn't do any woodworking or partying in my condo. I decided proper sound proofing was too expensive, so we didn't do it and saved our money to buy a house.
Sorry for your troubles. I hate not feeling like i can do what I want at home without angering others... Also, there's tons of info on the internet about sound proofing. It might make you feel better to know that your troubles aren't quite as unique as you seem to think.